74 | Told She Couldn’t: But She Did with | Michelle Steiner

The loudest voices told Michelle Steiner that college wasn’t an option and meaningful work wouldn’t be in reach. She proved them wrong, and then turned that hard-won confidence into a career helping students with disabilities claim their voice, their tools, and their future. We sit down with Michelle, writer, photographer, and paraeducator, to unpack how perseverance, accommodations, and everyday advocacy can transform doubt into durable progress.

We explore the practical side of equity: using Vocational Rehabilitation to graduate debt-free, requesting extended time and note takers, and replacing shame with strategy. Michelle breaks down the myths around accommodations (“cheating” vs. leveling the playing field) and offers clear, repeatable scripts for disclosing needs at school and work without oversharing. For parents and caregivers, we map how to partner with teachers, IEP teams, and pediatricians, and why a strengths-first mindset builds accountability without crushing a child’s spirit.

Michelle also shares how her hidden disability reshaped her creativity. Walking instead of driving became a pathway to photography; journaling became a way to process stigma and educate others. Inside the classroom, she teaches seventh graders the advocacy habits that fuel independence: ask early, be specific, and celebrate what you do well. If you’re navigating learning differences, supporting a neurodivergent student, or rethinking your own path, this conversation offers tools, hope, and a fresh definition of success that fits real life.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome & Guest Introduction
• 0:36 Perseverance Amid Early Doubt
• 2:35 College Confidence & Paying It Forward
• 4:55 Photography, Walking, and Finding Strengths
• 6:29 Defining Michelle’s Mission
• 7:06 Embracing Accommodations Without Shame
• 8:21 First Advice for Learners with Disabilities
• 8:58 Inside the Paraeducator Role
• 9:54 Teaching Advocacy to Students
• 10:50 The Future of Special Education
• 11:40 Parent-School Partnership for Support
• 14:17 Myths and Realities of Accommodations
• 16:01 Community, Friendship, and Resilience
• 17:07 Strength-Based Living and Joy
• 18:32 Photography as Therapy and Craft
• 20:16 Writing as Voice and Advocacy
• 21:59 Disclosing Needs Without Over-Sharing
• 23:36 Workplace Maturity and Fit
• 25:22 Knowing Your Rights and Resources
• 26:29 Daily Self-Advocacy in Action
• 27:55 What Listeners Should Take Away
• 28:20 Parenting for Independence and Strength
• 29:07 What’s Next for Michelle
• 29:27 Closing & Ways to Connect

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where faith, family, and business collide, hosted by Brooke Stemming, Doctor of Business Administration, Business Coach, and Resilience Expert. Each episode features real-life conversations to help entrepreneurs like you build resilience and lead with confidence.

SPEAKER_02: 0:32

Welcome back to Off Balance. I'm your host, Zocna Brooks. Today's conversation is all about perseverance and purpose in the face of doubt. We're joined by Michelle Steiner, a writer, photographer, and passionate advocate for people with hidden disabilities. Despite being told early in life about college and meaningful work, those things were not possible. Michelle refused to accept those limits. Now with a degree in community programming from Slippery Rock University, she works as a paraeducator, supporting students with disabilities, and shares her journey through her platform, Michelle's Mission. Her story reminds us that limitations don't define who we are. Michelle, welcome to Off Gallage. Oh, hello. I am so excited to have you. Before we dive into our conversation, I shared a little bit about you, but can you tell listeners who you are and what it is that you do?

SPEAKER_01: 1:25

Sure, I would be happy to do that. My name is Michelle Steiner, and I live in Pennsylvania with my husband Ron and our two cats, Jack and Sparrow. I am a writer, I'm a speaker, I'm a photographer, and I'm a paraeducator. I work in a school with students who have disabilities and some who don't. And I also have a learning disability myself. And I have a blog called Michelle's Mission where I write about my life with a learning disability and get the feature my photography that I take on my walks.

SPEAKER_02: 1:57

What prompted you to start your mission of helping others with disabilities?

SPEAKER_01: 2:03

I always knew that I wanted to work with other people in the helps, like definitely like working with students. And I can remember, I wondered if I would be able to do it with having a disability, but I was able to go to college. I struggled a lot. I had a lot of people who told me I couldn't do it. And I faced a lot of stigma. But it was right after I got my bachelor's degree that I started to have a lot more confidence within myself. And I thought, oh my goodness, I was able to get this degree despite being told I couldn't do it. And I just wanted to be able to go and to be able to pay it forward and help other people that have disabilities to be able to thrive.

SPEAKER_02: 2:46

So being told that you couldn't learn, that you would never go to college, what prompted you to decide, I'm going to give this a try.

SPEAKER_01: 2:55

One of the things that I was really lucky to have was I had a learning support teacher. Actually, I had a student teacher who told me, Michelle, you can go to college. You're really smart. You know how to study and you know how to work hard. And I cannot remember this teacher's name. But when things got really difficult, I can just remember just going to with that and thinking, okay, this is that was the voice that I heard. That is what helped me to be able to be able to get through going to what I was going through.

SPEAKER_02: 3:27

So as you transitioned from high school to college, what were some of the strategies that you used to help yourself prepare for that transition?

SPEAKER_01: 3:36

Some of the things that I did was I got connected with an agency called Office for Vocational Rehabilitation. And they will pay for things such as going back to school. I was able to graduate debt-free. They also pay for if you need job accommodations or workplace assistance. I didn't have much with that, but I have a lot with school. Another thing that they'll do is they will also just be able to advocate for you. And I also used accommodations when I was at school. I had a note taker and I that person took notes for me in class. I had extended test time so I my brain could process the information. And I had tutoring when I needed it so I could get that extra help that I needed to be successful in school.

SPEAKER_02: 4:23

You stated that once you were able to obtain your bachelor's degree, it can help you with your confidence. In what way would you say?

SPEAKER_01: 4:31

I think it really helped me because before that point, I was really negative. I thought, oh, I can't do anything. Or I thought, I'll be complete whenever my disability goes away. And it wasn't until I finally was that the point where I graduated that my disability didn't go away, but I still had success and I felt complete. And that just really boosted that. I was starting to see the possibilities in what I could do and not so much of the of what I couldn't.

SPEAKER_02: 5:01

So after you graduated and your confidence was built, what did you do next to help you stay kind of on the positive?

SPEAKER_01: 5:09

One of the things I went and I was able to find a job. It took me a while to find one that was disability friendly. A lot of places said they were, but they weren't. And I've been with my employer for over 15 years and I love working with the students. I think that's a great way to be able to give back. And I also have developed a love for photography. I am not able to drive because of my disability. So when I go on my walks, I get the chance to take pictures of flowers and to stop and smell the roses. And people say, Well, you bring out the details of a flower that I would miss. And I get that up and I get to post them. And I think to myself, if I was in a car driving, there are so many things that I would miss. I wouldn't be able to see those flowers or those other things that were up close. So that is one of the ways that helps me to feel confident. I post those on my blog. And I also writing has also been healing for me, too. I've been writing ever since I was a young child. I can remember my dad found a story about a dinosaur that I wrote in second or third grade and said, wow, this is really good. And I didn't think I had any talent up until that point. And it was just that growing. And when I engage in those activities such as reading and writing and photography, I don't feel like I'm disabled. I feel empowered.

SPEAKER_02: 6:27

That's really beautiful. And when it comes to your blog, it's titled Michelle's Mission. So what is your mission?

SPEAKER_01: 6:35

Michelle's mission is to encourage, empower, and educate people with and without disabilities. I think a lot of times there's a lot of misinformation that goes around having this learning disabilities, especially. And I provide a lot of information about that. I also want to empower people that have disabilities to live the life that they want and according to what their interests are. And I also want to encourage people. I want to encourage people with and without disabilities to go after their dreams.

SPEAKER_02: 7:06

So looking back on your journey, what is something that you wish you could have learned faster that could have helped you kind of move things along?

SPEAKER_01: 7:15

I think what could help me learn a lot faster was that it's okay to use accommodations. It's okay to do that because I can remember that stigma that surrounded me, especially in college, that disability accommodations were cheating. And I felt guilty with that when I used them. And I didn't want to be stigmatized, so I didn't use them. And I wish I would have because that would have made a lot of my life easier. I also wish I knew it was okay to have a disability because for I for so long I just wanted to make it go away, disappear, and it would be whole. And that didn't happen for me, and that's okay. I think it has actually helped me a lot of my life.

SPEAKER_02: 7:55

So if you have someone that's listening and they have a disability, what advice can you give them to help them embrace their journey and just move forward with their disability?

SPEAKER_01: 8:05

I would say the first thing is you got to know what you want, and you have to be able to find a way to do that. I think that is the biggest thing. And it's embracing having one and just finding those ways to make that possible and to live the best life that you can possibly.

SPEAKER_02: 8:21

That's good advice. And you are a paraeducator. Can you kind of explain what is that and what do you do on a day-to-day basis with your students?

SPEAKER_01: 8:30

A paraeducator is a teacher's aide. I work in a school with students and I'm in the classroom. And this year I'm working with seventh graders in learning support and general ed classes. And I get a chance to take a student aside and maybe help a student that's struggling to learn. I get that chance to assist a teacher where they need that and to meet the students where they need that help. Today I read a test to a student that has a disability, and that was paying it forward for me because somebody read a test to me all those years ago, and that really made a big difference in my life. And all the kids know, do not ask me for help with math. I'm pretty clear about that.

SPEAKER_02: 9:12

Look, I am not afraid to admit that I am not a fan of math either. So I would have to be in the same boat as you when it comes to map. So what has surprised you about your experience as far as being a paraeducator?

SPEAKER_01: 9:27

I think just maybe some of the surprises or how I can see this working in the classroom because I used to worry, oh, how am I going to teach children with having a disability myself? And I think sometimes the surprises is that it all does work out. And I think also it's interesting, even though it's been a long time since I was a seventh grader, it's like hearing a recording myself at that age. I hate my disability. I wish it would go away. And I get that chance to tell them it's not a bad thing to have a disability. And you're, I think it's so important we teach them now how to manage this because for so many of our students, they're going to all of them one day leave me. And I hope they achieve every single dream they have. And I think it's, but their disabilities are going to stay. So I think it's so important to teach them how to advocate. So I'll be in the room with them. And if they have a question, I'll say, raise your hand, ask the teacher, especially if it's math, I'll tell them to ask him or her, whoever's teaching. And I just, those are some of the lessons. I think that just really surprises me that it the students still struggle with the same questions with disabilities that they did all those years ago, too.

SPEAKER_02: 10:38

And that's very interesting because you would think as time has progressed, that the way that we integrate children with disabilities and their needs would have evolved. But unfortunately, it hasn't. And so, where do you see the education system in the next five years as it relates to having better opportunities for children with disabilities?

SPEAKER_01: 11:00

I definitely hope with the education system that we're able to educate every student based upon their needs. If I had one wish, it would be to have that funding that we could have enough staff that could be there to provide that support. And I also would wish that they could provide a more customized approach to education, because I think sometimes students need that. I think they they need to have that approach and so they it's so they're able to learn according to their needs.

SPEAKER_02: 11:33

Yeah, I think it's very important that we eliminate that one size fits all because we are definitely different and we learn different. So if you have a parent that's listening and they have a child with a disability, can you speak to the importance of accommodations and advocacy?

SPEAKER_01: 11:48

I think what it's the best piece of advice that I could say is to work with the school. If you notice that your child is struggling at home, or if you also, or if your teacher says that they're really struggling, I think that's just so important that parents work with the teacher. Be give them a call. Working with maybe your child's pediatrician or birth to three, if you have very young children. And I think that is just so important to have that connection because that really works for the benefit of the child.

SPEAKER_02: 13:10

And then if you have someone that's listening and they are not sure about accommodations, what are some of the misconceptions that you have come across when it comes to accommodations?

SPEAKER_01: 13:21

I think sometimes people think that accommodations are cheating. And that's really not the case. That's to even the playing field for students. I've even had people that would tell me that's cheating, that you get to use a calculator in school. And what they don't understand when I'm using a calculator on a test is it's a little help for me. It's better than nothing, but I can still mess things up with the calculator. So I think that's a big misconception. I think another misconception is the student is going to be too dependent on accommodations or their teacher with using them. And that is not necessarily true. I think if a student finds the can use the accommodations, then they can grasp the subject matter and they're not going to be discouraged and they might be encouraged, okay, I might be able to go to college because I know what I need to do to be successful with this. And I think sometimes people think another thing is if they have accommodations, then you know they're just going to get used to everything being really easy for them. And it's not easy. Even when you have accommodations, it still is a challenge. I can remember going through college-level math courses with accommodations and not doing well in the class. And it was tough.

SPEAKER_02: 14:40

Yeah, so I know accommodations is definitely not cheating. We all need to be accommodated in some way or form. And so I'm glad that you said that. So your entire journey from a child to an adult, what do you think that experience revealed about you as a person?

SPEAKER_01: 14:57

I think what helped develop me as a person was definitely the relationships I had with other people. My my mom and dad never gave up on me, and that was just such a blessing. And they were there to encourage me. And I had some great friends. I was really lucky. I have an adult writing group that I started hanging out with when I was a teenager. And 20 some years later, we still meet to talk about our writing. And whenever I was struggling, they couldn't fix the problem, but they could be a friend. And I think that's just so important.

SPEAKER_02: 15:26

Yeah, community is definitely important. So when it comes to you, you are a very resilient person because you were able to beat the odds and get a college education. And that can be difficult regardless of, you know, if you have a disability or not. College is hard. So that means that you are very resilient. So how do you define and cultivate resilience in your life?

SPEAKER_01: 15:50

I think one of the most important things is just knowing that things are going to get better. I can remember when I was young, I thought things were always going to be hard and difficult. And sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball to go and tell myself it's not going to be this bad. You're going to have success. And I try to remember that when I hit a rough patch in my life, that things have gotten better before. They will get better again. It may not come how I think it's going to, but it's going to get better. And I think that is important to have that resilience. And I think another part of that is not chasing a cure for the disability, but also chasing things that can work, finding different solutions and having that creative problem solving does a lot of things to make you feel like you're resilient.

SPEAKER_02: 16:36

Yeah, that's good advice because I know sometimes we do wish that we can rewrite our story and that we can remove all the things that we don't like, but those things are what makes us great. Those are the things that make us stand out and to have our personalities. And so I'm glad that you said embrace it and not try to run from it. For listeners who might be raising children with a learning disability or navigating one for themselves, what encouragement or advice would you want to share as it relates to your own journey?

SPEAKER_01: 17:07

One of the first things that I would say is to focus in on strengths. Everybody has something that they're good at. And I think if you can focus on and you can find what those things are somebody does is good at and enjoys doing, that'll give them that sense of accomplishment and also that sense of pride and some enjoyment with that too. Because when I engage in the activities that I love, I don't feel like I'm disabled. I feel empowered, I feel happy.

SPEAKER_02: 17:33

And you also say that you are a photographer. So when you take your photos, do you sell your photos or are your photos more therapeutic for you?

SPEAKER_01: 17:42

I it's both. I do sell photos, usually, like it shows. I may have been featured in work in different magazines as well, and on my blog, but it's also therapeutic. I get that chance to just be in my own little world, my own little bubble when I take those pictures and to see all that beauty that a lot of people might miss.

SPEAKER_02: 18:01

And how did you discover that you were into photography?

SPEAKER_01: 18:05

That was actually a surprise. I can remember in my adult writing group, there was an older woman in the group, and we were looking at I took pictures from prom and I took a picture of a tree at a venue. And this older woman said, Wow, this shows perspective. Now, when I showed this to my other peers, they said, Oh, why'd you take a picture of a tree? But somebody could see that talent in me. Years later, but I put it on the shelf. I thought, I'm not an artist, I can't draw a straight line. I'm I'm not into art. And years later, my husband and I were in a cemetery, and there were these beautiful angel statues. And I took a picture of one of them, and one of my friends saw that, and she was a real particular person, and she said, Wow, this is really good. And I thought, well, she likes it, it must be good. And I entered it into a show and I got an honorable mention, and that just encouraged me to write, take more pictures.

SPEAKER_02: 18:55

That's really good. So over the years, how have you cultivated that gift of photography?

SPEAKER_01: 19:01

I love to be my husband and I love to go to adventures like to parks and museums and gardens. We think that's wonderful. And I also love to do that on my walks. I'm not able to drive because of my disability. So when I'm I don't have a ride somewhere, I get a chance to take a picture of a flower or something, other pretty thing that I see.

SPEAKER_02: 19:21

You also mentioned that you are a writer. What sparked your interest in writing?

SPEAKER_01: 19:28

I think what really just sparked my interest was I just felt I love reading, I love writing. My dad would read me a story every night when I was little, and that just really sparked that interest in me.

SPEAKER_02: 19:39

And so, how has writing helped you to change your mindset and embrace your disability?

SPEAKER_01: 19:45

It's giving me a voice because sometimes if I'm work if I have a problem and I can write about it, I'm able to have that voice where I can be able to talk about that. And it's not inside me, it's out there and I'm able to be able to deal with the issue.

SPEAKER_02: 20:00

I know a lot of people like journaling or they write books to help themselves to be able to get through situations, didn't see anything wrong with you.

SPEAKER_01: 20:10

I think some of the challenges, especially when I was at college, was people thought she can do anything. And that's something I've faced when I'm at a job, too. People will say, will think I'll come in and I'll tell them I need an accommodation or I'm not able to do math. And people would just look at me like, why can't you? What's wrong with you? You're an adult, you have a you have an education, you should be able to do this. And I have to explain to them that I can't do that. And that's where the advocacy comes in. Because I have to be the one that can explain my disability. And not only explain the things I can't do, but also explain the things I can do and how that makes me a valuable asset to the place.

SPEAKER_02: 20:51

And if someone is listening and if they are uncomfortable with talking about their disability, how can they share their limitations or challenges without disclosing their actual disability?

SPEAKER_01: 21:03

One of the things it's important to do is to practice before you go in with having that. I always think that's really helpful. And it's also about definitely sharing with the right people. So if I'm at work and I'm having a difficulty at my job, I might go to the teacher that I work with and explain I have a disability and this is why I can't do that. And if I'm still having issues or I'm not getting accommodated, I've had to talk to staff. I've had to go to our principals. And what I try to do is I'll set up a time to talk with them. And I will say that I had to get comfortable with saying my the disability that I have. And I'll say, I have a learning disability. These are some of the things I'm struggling with, these are the accommodations that that I need. And a lot of times that's important because people can't obviously can't see that. But people also have a lot of myths around accommodations too. They think that they're expensive. And sometimes it's just something as easy as a schedule change. I've worked in an office before where I could not put straight holes in it with a hole punch. And we got an electric hole puncher, and I think it was under$100 for that. So it's not necessarily this big accommodation that I'm going to need. I might just need something very small. But I also think it's showing what the things you are good at. So you might want to tell them, oh, I I might struggle with this, but I'm okay with that. And I think it's also not sharing every detail too. I think that's really important because you want to just stick to the problems that you're having at your work or at school and not to get into every single thing with that. And because I think you have to stay focused on what you need to be successful in that environment.

SPEAKER_02: 22:58

And how did you learn in the workplace not to let your disability define you or your ability to perform?

SPEAKER_01: 23:06

I had a I my dad was a manager for a number of years. So we practiced a lot of these conversations of how to have them so they're productive. And I think what that was one of the things too. I had to learn also, maturity was really big. Sometimes when I was younger, I would hear people say things and I'd be afraid I was going to lose my job, or I didn't think that I was performing up to what other people were. And I had to learn that I need to do my best. And that I also have to go out there with a positive attitude. And it's okay if I make a mistake, everybody makes them. It's about how we handle them. And it's also about finding the right employer, too. I think I've worked for ones that maybe didn't quite understand and that was hard. But I've also worked for some really great ones too that really get it. And I think it's just finding that that recipe, that for that secret sauce where you have where it works, where you have that level of challenge, but you also have that level of competent competency and ability too. And you're being accommodated and you're being an asset to the workplace or the school.

SPEAKER_02: 24:20

And I can imagine having a disability, you have to know about different laws and resources that's available for you. So what tools or resources did you use to learn your rights in your particular state?

SPEAKER_01: 24:33

One of the things was I, when I was in college, I studied community programming for Americans with disabilities. So there was a lot of information on ADA and the impact that it does have and different cases that come up with special ed. They still happen, irregardless of how many years we passed many of these laws. And I also think I one of my jobs that I worked with was a grassroots agency that was a Center for Independent Living. And while it didn't work out long term at the job, what it did, it gave me a better understanding of what was possible because I was seeing people that were coming in that had disabilities and they were able to be independent, living in their own home. So I think that really opened my eyes up to what was possible.

SPEAKER_02: 25:24

That's interesting because when I saw the title of the degree, I was trying to figure out what is community programming. So, what are some of the tools that you took away from your education that you apply day to day?

SPEAKER_01: 25:36

Some of the things that I have definitely applied is how we deal with peop with other people. It's opened my eyes up to different disabilities. I think that patience is another thing that I might apply. And just using those advocacy skills to point them in the direction of having the best life possible and just giving them that direction.

SPEAKER_02: 26:00

And you use the word advocate a lot and advocacy. So if someone is listening and they haven't quite mastered that, what would advocating for yourself look like on a day-to-day basis?

SPEAKER_01: 26:12

It can depend on what the day is. If I am at work, I might have to say what I I always have to tell the kids I cannot help you with math. That is a form of advocating. I if I get a new teacher that I work with, I have to tell them I cannot help with math. I also it's also with just speaking up for yourself. If I'm out and I can't figure out a tip particular to give to the waitress, I have to pull out my phone. I have to pull out the tip calculator. I may not be saying the words, but I am definitely using that that skill. And I think it's just about being able to say what you want and being able to express those needs.

SPEAKER_02: 26:53

What do you hope sharing your story will do for our listeners today?

SPEAKER_01: 26:59

What I hope that the listeners will leave with is knowledge about disabilities, but also with being able to how to help themselves. And I think that's so important that our listeners, that people know how that, how to be able to advocate, how to be able to speak up for themselves. And I also like to say the success doesn't always come in the package that we all we expect, but sometimes it comes in something even better.

SPEAKER_02: 27:25

Oh, that's good, Michelle. So when it comes to parents, if they're listening, what advice can you give them about that healthy boundary of helping your kids, but also allowing them to be able to navigate things themselves so that they can be more independent as they grow up?

SPEAKER_01: 27:43

I think one of the things that we want to do is focus on strengths. Everybody has something that they're good at. And I think it's finding those things and encouraging their child to go in that direction. I think it's also encouraging accountability too for a lot of our kids. My parents never expected me to have perfect grades, but I had to try. So I think it's important that we really look and we encourage people to become happy, healthy, successful adults.

SPEAKER_02: 28:10

And what's next for you? So how do you see your work impacting people in the future?

SPEAKER_01: 28:15

I would definitely love to expand my blog and I would love to share my story in more places. And someday I would like to also write a book about my life and possibly a children's book. And so when it comes to your blog, you can find me at my website, www.mishellesmission.com.

SPEAKER_02: 28:32

And I will make sure that I have that information for listeners in the show notes so that you guys can check her blog out. So as we wrap up, what's one message or piece of advice that you want to leave with our listeners who may be navigating their own journey with their disability?

SPEAKER_01: 28:49

One of the things that I would say is to definitely know what you want and be able to find a way to do it. And it may not always look the way that you expected it to, but it will work out.

SPEAKER_02: 29:02

It's been an amazing conversation. And I will make sure that we have all your contact information so that people can read your blog and reach out to you. And again, thank you so much for joining us here on Off Balance. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00: 29:18

Thanks for listening. Please rate this episode and share it with your family and friends. To learn more about your host or to book a coaching session, visit www.brooksdemming.com. Until next time, rise.