69 | Time Freedom for Busy Moms with | Alyssa Wolff

Drowning in the relentless demands of working from home while raising a family? Time management coach Alyssa Wolff shatters conventional productivity myths and offers a revolutionary approach to creating balance for overwhelmed mothers.

As a homeschooling mother of five running a thriving coaching business, Alyssa speaks from experience when she challenges the "just be more disciplined" mentality that leaves so many women feeling inadequate. Her refreshing philosophy? The problem isn't you, it's your system.

Through this illuminating conversation with host Brooks Demming, Alyssa reveals her three-pillar approach to time freedom: strategic scheduling, mindset transformation, and fearless delegation. Rather than teaching you to cram more tasks into each day, she'll show you how to ruthlessly prune your to-do list from 20 items to just 7 (or fewer!), giving you permission to honor your energy levels and capacity.

You'll discover how compartmentalizing your day eliminates the guilt-inducing tug-of-war between work and family, why true self-care must be more than squeezing in a podcast while folding laundry, and how examining your childhood programming might be the key to finally accepting help. For mothers of children with special needs, Alyssa offers personalized strategies drawn from her own experience raising autistic children.

Ready to transform frustration into freedom? Download Alyssa's exclusive audio feed "Time Back Seekers for Work-at-Home Moms" at yornbusylife.com and take the first step toward a life where you can thrive professionally while being fully present for your family, all without burning yourself out in the process.

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unbusy-mom-time-management-for-work-at-home-moms/id1601873433

Are you feeling stuck? No matter how hard you push, you’re not gaining momentum in your business or your life? That’s exactly why I created the R.I.S.E. Coaching Program.

Over 8 weeks, I’ll guide you through a proven framework to help you:

• Get rooted in your purpose,
• Set and honor healthy boundaries,
• Strengthen your resilience when life hits hard,
• And execute with consistency so your goals stop collecting dust.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Off Balance Podcast
• 1:22 Meet Alyssa: Time Management Coach
• 3:59 Breaking Down the Time Management Process
• 8:03 Overcoming Guilt and Self-Sabotage
• 15:34 Practical Strategies for Feeling Unbusy
• 23:13 Common Misconceptions About Time Management
• 27:01 Addressing Special Needs and Family Challenges
• 29:20 Closing Advice and Resources

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where faith, family, and business collide. Hosted by Brooke Demick, Doctor of Business Administration, Business Coach, and Resilience Expert. Each episode features real-life conversations to help entrepreneurs like you build resilience and lead with confidence.

SPEAKER_02: 0:35

Many work from home, they feel buried under their weight of chores, childcare, and business tasks, wondering if it's even possible to keep up. Today's conversation will demonstrate how effective time management, mindset shifts, and a bit of creativity can transform chaos into balance. My guest today is Alyssa Wolf, a time management coach, entrepreneur, and homeschooling mom of five. What started as a way to beat boredom after having baby number five turned into a thriving consulting business, helping work-from-home moms reclaim time and joy. Alyssa, welcome to Off Balance. Thank you, Rex. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am so excited because I can remember when I had my daughter and I was working from home. I was so overwhelmed. I wish you were around 20 years ago when I gave birth. Before we dive into our conversation, can you introduce yourself and tell listeners a little bit more about who you are and what it is that you do?

SPEAKER_01: 1:37

Sure. So I'm going to take your time back, coach, for any mom that's working from home. So whether that's corporate and you're flexible or you're actually an entrepreneur running your own business, I'm going to help you get control of your schedule. So not in a how many meetings do I need to take and what does my boss want kind of a way, but how do I have time for the kids? Because that's probably why you are working remote or from home with your business. Plus, have the time for myself, my husband, getting all the work stuff, managing the house, all that sort of thing without going crazy. Because I don't believe you need to live the too busy hamster wheel kind of life.

SPEAKER_02: 2:12

What uh prompted you to even start consulting in this area?

SPEAKER_01: 2:18

I looked at the basic business thing of, you know, you need to help people based off your strengths. And time, time management was always something that came super easily to me. And I was running my life with five kids in a homeschool and without feeling stressed day-to-day, which I know is really unusual. Any mom I talked to, she had two or more kids, she's just like, busy. How are you? Busy.

SPEAKER_02: 2:42

That's interesting. So when it comes to time management and the juggling day-to-day tasks, whether it be with your children or running a home, can you explain what your process looks like in practice?

SPEAKER_01: 2:54

Sure. So I think everyone through like scheduling mindset and delegation. So scheduling for me is that's your calendar and schedule, but it's also your to-do list and it's your self-care. If we don't put that on the schedule, it's probably not going to happen. And mindset is rewiring things because maybe you have some worthiness blocks, some stories, how your parents raised you and you're bringing those roles into your current life. And that's causing you to not accept help because you feel like the mother should be the one who has to do everything around the house. Or maybe you feel like, well, it's okay to have a side hustle, but it's not allowed to be a full-time thing that makes a lot of money. So stuff like that, we need to fix those. So you can actually let yourself step into the time of freedom that we're creating and not self-sabotage. And then lastly is delegation, because of course it is true you can't do it all, but if you can buy back some of your time, whether that's giving chores to your kids or literally buying it back, there are so many things around the house and in your business you do not need to be doing. Do not require someone with a driver's license, you know, knife skills, the exact messaging that only you know how to do for your audience, or you on camera. There's so much there that we can get rid of off your plate.

SPEAKER_02: 4:04

Yeah, you mentioned self-sabotage and you also talked about guilt. So for mothers that are listening, how can they begin to delegate or begin to prioritize their self or even, you know, just ask for help without feeling guilty?

SPEAKER_01: 4:21

I think first you just need to have the time carved out to do that. Because if you feel like you've gotten a long to-do list, then you're somehow supposed to have self-care on top of that. It's not gonna happen. You know that. So we need to cut down that to-do list, make it manageable. And part of the way we do that is by getting really good at asking yourself, do I have energy for this today? And if you have to say no to six separate things in your to-do list because you already took three, and those were kind of the big rocks for the day and you the use of dollar, that's when you can say, okay, if it has to get done today, if those six things have to get done today, I need to ask someone else for help. Well, probably not all six actually need to get done today. And then you can push them off and make the decisions another day if your brain is all tapped up, but get really, really good at saying, yes, but how much capacity do I have? And as soon as you hit that, you stop. Anything else someone else needs to be doing.

SPEAKER_02: 5:14

That is good advice. And you talked about the time management aspect. What are some other practical strategies that can help moms feel unbus?

SPEAKER_01: 5:23

If you can bucket out your day for like this is work, this is the time I'm spending with the kids, this is when I'm prepping supper, then you're not feeling that constant tug of war between here, I'm answering clients on my phone and my kids talking to me at the same time. And I'm supposed to be giving attention to him, but I'm really going to talk to the clients, kind of a thing. So it really helps to just separate things out. Like, don't play the multitasking game.

SPEAKER_02: 5:48

Okay, so let's get let me make sure I understand. I know sometimes when you work from home, you can overlap when you should be working or when you should be doing home things. So when a client works with you, you compartmentalize.

SPEAKER_01: 6:01

Yes. Once they give me the kind of brain dump of this is all the stuff going on in my schedule, here are my heart to stops, here's my business model, here's how many kids I have, school, all that sort of a thing. I come in and help them compartmentalize so we can say, okay, you're feeling bad that you weren't spending time with your three-year-old who's at home half the day with you. Right. What else were you doing in that time period? If we can delegate three different chores off your plate and two different business things so that you don't have work to do in that time period, then you're spending time with the three-year-old. Then you're feeling like you're being a good mother and you're still making the money in the business because you're still hitting all the metrics on that side.

SPEAKER_02: 6:38

You started your business out of boredom. What did the early season teach you about time management, energy, and purpose?

SPEAKER_01: 6:47

It was kind of the testing zone. I had to go through that and say, wow, I can't make it through to 3 p.m. I have to have a break. Like, I can barely make it to 12. So I learned a lot about giving myself the breaks I needed instead of waiting until the end of the day when his mom's like, okay, done with the work, done with the second shift. Oh no, I need to talk to my partner. Okay, I guess that's break time. Like, well, no, not for all of us. We need help a little sooner in the day. And I didn't want my kids to be raised in that kind of hustle and busy culture, even if it was just the being at home with them. Because you can always find another to take your kids to, another Pinterest cleaning routine that absolutely must get done, a new recipe to try. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to feel like my days were spacious. I had enough time for hobbies, for me, for all of that. So I built that in right from the get-go.

SPEAKER_02: 7:36

That is very interesting because when you talk about using brakes as a means to turbocharge, sometimes I know for moms, we can literally take breaks, but we're still doing stuff for other people. So can you unpack for us what it will look like in a mom schedule to actually take a break for ourselves?

SPEAKER_01: 7:55

Anything that's focused on you that contributes to your well-being and recharging. Imagine you've got a battery and it's the mommy battery, and you know, you're kind of blinking red. What would fill you up? Is it going for a walk, but it has to be by yourself, not taking the kids along to give them the fresh air? Is it exercise or does that feel like another should? Can you do journaling or mindset work? Does that feel like something for you? You're just, you know, getting all these thoughts out so you don't feel stressed and you don't unload on your husband the minute he comes home from work. What about, for example, doing a hobby? Even if it takes, you know, an hour plus, maybe it's like sewing your quilting. These aren't one of these, you know, five or ten minutes and then you drop them kind of things. What about deep hobby time? What can you do that if you came back from it, you would feel super energized and ready to go again about your day? Not, oh, well, I'm sitting down. I may as well fold laundromal and listen to your podcast. No, your brain reads that I'm folding laundry.

SPEAKER_02: 8:54

When you first started this, what resources and tools help you the most?

SPEAKER_01: 9:00

I was a big fan of online education. So I got all the low-cost courses I could find targeted to what I needed. So like I had a WordPress website, I got a course on WordPress, so I hadn't a clue of that kind of a thing. Like, what are basic business models? How do you write nurture sequences? How do you show up on camera? What do you do if you're scared of that? You know, learning practicing, that's what helps me get over the hungry.

SPEAKER_02: 10:16

Now that you have everything balanced and you're able to successfully work from home, you're able to spend time with your kids. Has your definition of success changed because of this?

SPEAKER_01: 10:27

No, I think it's the same one. It's just you keep giving yourself bigger goals, like bigger metrics to hit. And then on the parenting side, of course, success might change slightly when you update it for each of your kids' seasons. Like I've got high schoolers who are going off to college. So success for them looks a little different than my six-year-old who's learning how to read.

SPEAKER_02: 10:47

This is so interesting. How do you apply the principle across your business and your family? Do you have the same strategies for your family as well as your business?

SPEAKER_01: 10:58

Yeah, pretty much the same thing. So my teenagers will kind of laugh to themselves if they hear me talking to a client, like, yeah, we knew all that five years ago, Mom. I'm like, see, you'll have a money up.

SPEAKER_02: 11:10

If uh someone is listening and they're like, oh my God, I am struggling and I really want to work with you. Can you walk us through the process? Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 11:18

So we'll probably DM a bit, email, see what container you're in the exact right fit for. But my meeting program is a done for you offer because you don't need more stuff in your life. Kind of outsource that where do all the puzzle pieces fit about your day? That's what's stressed me out. So outsource that to me because it's fun for me. And then we're going to take you through a four-month process where I create all that for you. And then I don't say, well, here's what I think the perfect schedule makeover is. You know, makeovers go real well. I say, here's what I think a good starting point is to start hitting your priorities and giving you the time. Now tell me what means tweaking, because sometimes when your coach hands you something back, you're like, oh wait, I totally forgot to tell you. My husband always has this work meeting at 4 p.m. when that wasn't in the schedule. Oh, I'm doing this volunteer commitment. Oh, actually, I'm completely out of energy then. I cannot record reels. So we give you time to go back and say, change this, this, this, and this. So it is truly what you need, not what I looking from the outside, say, well, that ought to work. You need that for super duper personalized approach. And once we have that, then we can do the mindset rewiring session, saying, okay, imagine yourself living out this day next week. What are all those buts, ifs, oh well, maybe hesitations that are kind of going to come up? So we do a targeted, intuitive session about that. And then we'll give you 30 days of support. So you can just be constantly sitting there messaging me, ah, my kid did this. Ah, my kid got sent home sick. No, I can't work. So my perfect schedule does no good. What am I doing with my stacked up to-do list? Everything that's going on, because I don't want to send you off into the sunset with a new sketch. You need to be embodying it, living it day to day. It's like training bills with me there to help you adjust. You don't just live into this new thing instantly because a coach says, here, I think this is the best strategy for you, right? You need some practice in a safe place for it.

SPEAKER_02: 13:12

What's one of the common misconceptions that people have about time management and what this will look like in their day-to-day practice?

SPEAKER_01: 13:22

This is one of my favorite questions because most people think it's all about getting Uber efficient. So that I'm going to come in and say, Oh, you need to be super type A, you need to get way more productive, in other words, cram 50 things in your day instead of 20, that'll fix everything about your to-do list. Whereas I'm coming the complete opposite direction, saying, no, no, no, your 20-addem to-do list is overwhelming you. Let's cut it down to seven. And if that's overwhelming, you will cut it down to five. We need to fix the to-do list. We don't fix you. We fix the to-dos. They're what's putting pressure on you.

SPEAKER_02: 13:52

I can imagine that people will think that it's about fixing themselves and not their actual schedule or their to-do list. So if someone is listening, how does your space create a space where it's no judgment?

SPEAKER_01: 14:04

I'm a big believer in personality theory. So the way we're applying this is the time management saying, you are the way you are, like the way God created you. So instead of fitting you into the mold of the personality advice, you know, just do it, keep hustling, get more discipline. We're saying, no, no, we start with you. What is best for you and your needs? So this goes beyond the family life season. It's going, you as the woman, what are all the things that have never worked for you when you were single and you could be as productive as you wanted? Like there's some stuff that never did work. So how much worse is it now with the house and the kids and the husband if you're trying to do those very same strategies? You've got to completely rebuild from the ground up with someone who says, Oh, well, we can try it this way. We can try it this way. There's no judgment attached to it. It's simply, well, that was the wrong strategy for you. Let's find it better.

SPEAKER_02: 14:54

What are some strategies that people can use to start shifting their mindset towards time management, self-care, and just trying to balance their lives?

SPEAKER_01: 15:04

If you're really anti-mindset, what I'd start you off with is don't my kids desert an emotionally regulated mother? You know, the person who doesn't snap at them, doesn't yell at them, is there for them emotionally. Well, okay, we want that. So how are you gonna get there? It's not by telling yourself not to yell at them, right? It's you have to be calmed down internally enough, not have a bunch of things going off in your brain, like, ah, this fire, that fire, the other fire, need to deal with it. Because that's what causes you to react to your kids and snap at them in the moment. Whereas if those things were handled, if your brain's kind of feeling calm, yes, you would be able to listen to them and take that extra second to think and respond the way you want to respond as the parent. So anything that gets you out of that reactive frazzle state is going to help you with your mindset, whether that's that walk, you can kind of rant to your phone notes, maybe it's the journaling, since that is a classic technique. Maybe you need stuff more like EFT or breath work. Find something that gets the mental frazzle out of your brain and then practice it daily for at least 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_02: 16:08

You just talked about frustrated, snapping. What are some other signs that a mom listening can recognize if it's time for her to bring someone in to help her facilitate change?

SPEAKER_01: 16:19

If stuff is constantly going on in your schedule, and by that I mean like you made the plan for the week and you're like, stuff is always not fitting in, like it's overflowing, and this has become constant. Like this isn't just a busy day. This is my new normal. Or you there's always the same time of day, you are getting frustrated because no one else is helping you clean up the kitchen, package the leftovers, wipe down the counters, you know. Those are signs you need to take action. It's not a one-off. See, we as moms, we like to tell ourselves, oh, this is just a one-off. It's just a busy season. It's like, no, you see a pattern, you need to fix it.

SPEAKER_02: 16:54

I know sometimes mom guilt, it can be heavy, especially for entrepreneurs. What helped you release the tug of war in your life between your business and your kids?

SPEAKER_01: 17:05

Having those time blocks to spend with the kids because it's really hard to keep guilting yourself if you're like, but I already spent 15 minutes when I went with that kid and that kid and that kid and that kid and that kid. And we're doing a family outing this weekend, and they know they can come to me whenever they've got something else going on at school or their friends. In fact, I have extra time built in with them for that. Then you can kind of see, oh, okay, so it's Pinterest mom that says I should spend an hour with each kid. Yeah, that might be unrealistic. But you have to actually have the time in your schedule and it not getting pushed out by other one-off things, you know, that whole, oh, I'm too busy, so I pushed off the quality time to the kid. You have to actually be doing it every single day and week. And then that's when you can be like, oh, I think this mom guilt is just false guilt because I do have a good relationship with them. I am spending time with a partner, right? You have any of the work goals, so it's perfectly fine working this number of hours a week.

SPEAKER_02: 18:00

When it comes to the time blocks, when you work with parents, are the time blocks structured based on their particular situation?

SPEAKER_01: 18:08

100%. Like I don't come in and say, oh, I think you ought to have a three-hour work span here, or oh, I'm sure you could only manage 30 minutes. I let them tell me. And then I might make a suggestion like it looks like you're spending four hours on house cleaning stuff here. Why is it taking four hours? And you still have more house cleaning time blocks later in the week. So I can push back and say, like, what's going on here? And is that actually all you're doing, or are you multitasking again?

SPEAKER_02: 18:36

Sometimes when you have coaching programs or consulting programs, it's almost like a one-size-fit-all. So I am so glad that your clients have individualized programs to help them to be successful. When you decided to go into consulting, what made you decide to do it individualized versus a group approach?

SPEAKER_01: 18:59

Yeah. Well, I was someone who was big into like self-help, read the books and stuff, but it occurred to me, if just a book or course was all that we needed, like we would all be these amazing, productive, next level versions of ourselves. There is no way to contact the author, the New York Times bestseller, and say, I understand your principle, but how would you apply this to my situation? My kid does this, therefore I can't follow your principle to the T. How do you personalize that? You need some form of access because absolutely the principles are the same. Like there's nothing wrong with that author's principles. You need the principles, but it's the personalization where the river meets the road and you see that actual transformation to where you're living the unicorn version of the work from home life, you know, the pinch me one, not the just mine must be the problem. It works for everyone else, but not me one.

SPEAKER_02: 19:48

How would this program work for moms that may be listening and they're like, this sounds great, but I have autistic children or I have a child that has disabilities. How would that work for them? Or take that into account.

SPEAKER_01: 20:00

I have autistic kids as well. So not only the personal experience, but it's focused on what do you need? Maybe you need a ton of extra time during the day to deal with meltdowns, or you cannot have client calls at rigid times because you don't know what your son's temper is going to be like right at that time. You have a ton of extra appointments. I've had clients with that, that their schedule is thick with all the therapies and the medications. We're just working with what you've got and saying, these are your priorities. Of course, your kids are a huge part of your priority list. What can we do around that? So you feel like you're still a whole woman. You don't have to give up your ambitions, you don't have to give up your family, you don't have to give up the extra level of care that your kids need and still make this work. So we get really ruthless at cutting out all the stuff that does not belong in that priority list.

SPEAKER_02: 20:47

Alyssa, some people are listening, look, they're listening, they're like, we don't have a schedule. What harm can it cause for a family to not have a schedule?

SPEAKER_01: 21:00

That is when you get the perennial lateness, or I thought you were taking him to baseball practice. I'm not. I've got this work meeting, or I'm at the grocery store. I literally cannot come home and deal with it right now. And now the kids can be late and get in trouble with the coach and all these separate things. Like you've got to have something, even if it's not this rigid schedule, some sort of family calendar, you know, tracking with everything that's going on, especially if you have a lot of kids or a lot of activities that they're involved in.

SPEAKER_02: 21:27

I can remember we did not have a schedule for the longest. We were literally just trying to figure it out day by day. I can imagine that there are probably some people listening and they're like, I just don't have a schedule right now. But I hope this conversation will prompt them to actually get a schedule. After they work with you, the four months are up and they're like, I still need some type of guidance. Is there any type of add-on services that you provide, or is there a way for them to extend the time that they work with you?

SPEAKER_01: 21:59

Yes to both. So if you're just like, well, this is good, but I need the 30 days longer, like I need months in here with this hotline, 100% very understandable. And if you're like, I know this is supposed to be my real schedule, but I don't feel like I've lived into it yet. Like I feel like we need a bunch more reworking. I'm about to go on maternity leave or moving, like there are life things coming up within the next six months. Great. Let's just renew and do the entire thing all over again. Instead of waiting for the transition to be passed and you feeling like you're just holding everything together by your fingernails. Let's meet you and hold you through that transition.

SPEAKER_02: 22:40

You have mastered this, you've figured it out. But looking back, what is something that you wish you would have discovered sooner that could have saved you so much time?

SPEAKER_01: 22:52

If you're getting frustrated about something, don't just say, I'm the mom, it needs to be my job to kind of suck it up, be the martyr, take the hit. No, say, I should not be feeling angry about this. So what can I do to change it?

SPEAKER_02: 23:07

If you have someone that's listening and they just feel like they have to do it all, what advice can you give them to be able to delegate more?

SPEAKER_01: 23:16

This is where I like to use like the five whys. Why do you think you need to do it all? What are you afraid of if you stopped doing something? What do you think that's going to lead to? And then keep asking why a couple more times of your responses so we can uncover some of this layer of your childhood programming, teenager programming. Maybe it's when you had your first baby and all the well-meaning moms in your life came around to give their best advice to you. This is programming, that's making you believe that you have to do everything. And we have to fix that because you will not let anyone help until we do that.

SPEAKER_02: 23:50

You touched on some really good things. If someone is listening and they want to work with you, how can they get in touch with you?

SPEAKER_01: 23:56

Well, you can always go to yornbusylife.com. That's pretty easy to find. Just click on the about me and I'll take you right to everything. But the first place I'd probably send to you, if you're ready to clear your too much going on plate, is I want to banish the pressure from your high-performing to-do list because you've got all these things going on as a mom. So let's take down the pressure valve in your time management. It's an exclusive audio feed called Time Back Seekers for Workout Home Moms, just seven episodes. Hit play. Because I don't want you to live with burnout or even flirt with burnout while you're trying to balance being a present mom to your kids and hitting everything on the work and goals and ambition side. So if you're ready to find out what to quit, download that instant access audio feed, Time Back Seekers for Workout Home Moms.

SPEAKER_02: 24:42

If someone is listening, what is something that you can share with them to help them to be able to journey towards this balance that you have mastered so well?

SPEAKER_01: 24:53

Fix the first thing that's bugging you every single day. So that supper cleanup, something about the getting the kids ready to go to school, maybe it's client boundaries. Fix one thing that you feel resentful, annoyed, frustrated, bugged by, and then do that every single week. You won't recognize your life six months from now.

SPEAKER_02: 25:13

When it comes to boundaries, for those that may be listening that don't have any in place, what's one step that they can take to start to create and implement their boundaries?

SPEAKER_01: 25:23

I'm gonna guess it's gonna need to be something to do as tech, since whether it's your clients getting a hold of you through notifications popping up on your phone or the fact you're spending too much time on the social media scroll hole and you need to put the phone down. Decide what you think the best, healthiest thing would be to do, whichever device it is that's causing the problem, whichever app, and then see if you can just do one thing. Like you don't have to go cold turkey 100%, oh, I'm such a minimalist, I'm so wonderful about this. But what is one thing you could switch about that? Do you need to delete something off your phone, send notifications only to email, not to your phone? Do you need to say, I can only log into this on my desktop during working hours and not in the evenings? And in the evenings, I'm gonna make sure I'm doing XYZ with the family instead so that I really can't be on the phone. Like, change one thing about those internet boundaries or the social media boundaries, and you will see your happiness go up. Even if there's a little bit of a bumpy thing, you're like, shoot, I don't have any podcasts to listen to, I don't have any library books to read, I don't have any games I like to play, and we aren't doing anything fun this evening. Okay, well then that's what you actually need to fix. So you can smoothly switch from I was scrolling on Instagram to, oh, I would love to go to the store and find something to knit, but I need to know what store I could go to.

SPEAKER_02: 26:36

Parenting can be very hard. It can be overwhelming. What do you hope that sharing your story will do for some parents that may feel like they're in a tough spot right now?

SPEAKER_01: 26:48

I hope it gives you the grace, the courage to see that I'm in a place that many people consider too busy, too full. The five kids, they're all in homeschool this year. That wasn't true other years. But the college mountain teenagers, I've got the ones learning to read. It's okay. You can do this. If my life sounds way harder than yours, it's pretty easy for me. Or so it can be for you. Like play that comparison game. Well, I only have one kid. Well, I only have three and they're all in school and they're all all the same school. Or, well, I have two and they've got therapy and they've got appointments, but it's not five. Like at least it's not five. So look at that and then say, well, if she can do that with five and six years of practice, what could I do with five or six weeks of practice? Like, don't set yourself up to look like me with that expectation. But what could I outsource to my kids this week? What could I stop doing and have Instacart deliver next week? What things can I do? Because I know a mom who's got five kids and they're under 24-7, and she's not frazzled out. So I know it's got to be possible for me too.

SPEAKER_02: 27:57

What would Grace look like for a mom that's trying to navigate this journey?

SPEAKER_01: 28:02

I think Grace is adapting to your capacity every day. Back down to-do list. You're like, I'm on my cycle. I just had a bunch of family in town and I am shot. The kids are sick and whining and grumpy. And I don't feel like I have energy to get to the three things. Well, just do one, just do two, and trust that you're going to have the capacity to get to them later, maybe in the weekend, maybe next week. Maybe you're like, actually, I don't need to be doing these at all. They're not due till next month. Let yourself ebb and flow, even when you think you've got the perfect plan set up. That's what grace means as an energetic woman.

SPEAKER_02: 28:41

You have brought so much wisdom. We don't have to do it perfect. We just have to have a plan and execute it. As we are about to wrap up, what is one message or a piece of advice that you would like to leave with listeners on how they can go forth and do the best that they can in their parenting?

SPEAKER_01: 28:59

Stop listening to the you just need more discipline crowd. Instead, tell all those girls there's a problem, it's their system because it doesn't work for you. And doing do the things that actually pick your life. Whether that's I can only work in the 30-minute time chunks per day, or whether you're one of the deep work girls. So remember, they're the problem, it's not you.

SPEAKER_02: 29:22

That is really good advice because sometimes when life is hectic, people swear you don't have discipline or you're lazy, but sometimes it's just a lot, and we don't have the tools in our toolbox to be able to change. That is going to free a lot of people. So, Alyssa, again, thank you so much. Thank you, Brooks. My pleasure.

SPEAKER_00: 29:46

Thanks for listening. Please rate this episode and share it with your family and friends. To learn more about your host or to book a coaching session, visit www.brooksdemming.com. Until next time, rise.