Off-Balance Podcast | Faith, Family & Entrepreneurship

60 | Your Choice of Words Will Change Your Life with | Rodrika Jones

Dr. Brooks Demming Season 7 Episode 5

What happens when your life's mission collides with doubt, fear, and the practical demands of family? Rodrika Jones—author, certified life coach, and founder of Pearl Woman Ministry—joins us for a raw conversation about stepping boldly into purpose while battling both internal and external resistance.

Rodrika's journey began with a painful awakening when her daughter, whom she had raised as a teenage mother with complete devotion, expressed that she never wanted the life Rodrika had sacrificed everything to provide. In that moment of heartbreak, she heard God asking, "What are you going to do now?" His instruction was clear: stop focusing on what you lack and speak life into your future.

This pivotal moment birthed not only her first book, "My Choice of Words Changed My Life," but launched a ministry that exploded from a simple series of two-minute daily videos to reaching thousands of women worldwide in just 30 days. With disarming honesty, Rodrika shares how she navigated this unexpected calling while maintaining her roles as mother, wife, and full-time employee.

The conversation dives deep into practical wisdom for anyone struggling to balance multiple callings. Rodrika offers refreshing insights on establishing non-negotiables, being fully present with family, and recognizing the crucial difference between "good" opportunities and "God" opportunities. When faced with substantial investment offers that seemed beneficial on the surface, she explains how divine discernment protected her from paths that would "add sorrow" despite their immediate rewards.

Perhaps most powerfully, Rodrika challenges the common approach to resilience and vision. Rather than simply pushing through adversity or jumping from project to project, she advocates for thoroughly addressing wounds and maintaining consistent direction through writing out your vision. Her upcoming 365-day journal aims to help believers document divine guidance across all seasons, preventing them from being "tossed to and fro" by trends or misaligned opportunities.

Whether you're wrestling with balanc

Send us a text

Are you feeling stuck? No matter how hard you push, you’re not gaining momentum in your business or your life? That’s exactly why I created the R.I.S.E. Coaching Program.

Over 8 weeks, I’ll guide you through a proven framework to help you:

  • Get rooted in your purpose,
  • Set and honor healthy boundaries,
  • Strengthen your resilience when life hits hard,
  • And execute with consistency so your goals stop collecting dust.



Tiffany Brown Designs
Tiffany Brown is a graphic and brand designer, film and video editor, and Generative AI Artist who h

Support the show

Disclaimer:
The Off-Balance podcast, including all audio, video, and written content, is produced and hosted by Dr. Brooks Demming. The views, opinions, and statements expressed by podcast guests are solely those of the individual speakers and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs, or official positions of Dr. Brooks Demming, the Off-Balance brand, its affiliates, or partners.

All content provided on this podcast is for informational and inspirational purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice. Listeners are encouraged to seek appropriate professional guidance or spiritual counsel before making decisions based on the information presented.

By accessing or listening to this podcast, you agree that Dr. Brooks Demming and the Off-Balance brand are not liable for any loss, harm, or damages resulting from the use of or reliance on information shared by guests or third parties.

Intro/Outro:

You're listening to the Off Balance Podcast, where faith, family and business collide, hosted by Brooke Stemming, doctor of Business Administration, business Coach and Resilience Expert. Each episode features real-life conversations to help entrepreneurs like you build resilience and lead with confidence.

Dr. Brooks :

Welcome back to Off Balance. I'm your host, dr Brooks. Today we're diving into an issue that so many women face wanting to live boldly in their purpose while battling doubt and outside pressures. My guest, roderika Jones, known as your sister in strength, is here to share how she empowers women to think differently, speak boldly and embrace the life they were created for. Roderika is a passionate author, certified life coach and a dynamic speaker who leads with purpose, encouragement and authenticity. Speaker who leads with purpose, encouragement and authenticity.

Dr. Brooks :

As the founder of Pearl Woman Ministry, roderika is on a mission to empower women to live fully in their God-given purpose. Whether she's writing, speaking or sharing words of encouragement online, she uses her voice to uplift and inspire others to step confidently into the life that they were created for. Beyond her calling, she finds joy in spending time with her husband and children. Please welcome to the show, roderika. Hey, hi, roderika, thank you so much for joining us here on Off Balance. I am so excited to have you. Before we get started, can you introduce yourself to our listeners and share about who you are and what type of?

Rodrika Jones :

work you do Absolutely. Hey everybody, I'm Roderika. I love people. I can name so many things that I love to do. I am a mother, I am a wife and I love my children. I love my husband, and that is just something that comes natural to me. Outside of that, I love building women through writing and speaking.

Dr. Brooks :

What made you develop a passion for wanting to empower other women?

Rodrika Jones :

It's so interesting. I've always done it in a sense, but I had my first daughter at 16 years old and I raised her. I was super involved in her life, so much so I think she inadvertently she was my God and because, coming up, I did not have the support that I would have liked to have from my parents. And so, having my daughter at such a young age, I never wanted my age to be an excuse for me to mishandle her and then blame it, whatever trauma or whatever I would cause her later on in life. I never wanted my age to be an excuse for me mishandling her, like I said, and then being one of those people and just saying I was young, just get over it. I never wanted to do that and I was extremely involved in her life. And after I raised her to adulthood, she was 19 years old, in college and one day she stated she said I just decided not to go to school, like I just I don't want to do it and because I was so involved, it was very unhealthy and I had to sit with myself and I was like what are we going to do next, because my life has been so involved in her life, One of those things where you live through your children type of thing, because I did not have again the support and things of that nature. And when she said that to me, it really caused me to take a step back. It hurts very bad, but it also called me to take a step back and say you know what? This is her truth. Right, and she stated. She said the life that you guys gave me and all of the sacrifice, all the things that we've done. She said I never wanted that. And so again, looking at that, I had to say this is her truth. Although it hurts, although it was very frustrating, it was a lot of things.

Rodrika Jones :

In those moments I heard the Lord saying so what are you going to do now? And all along he was telling me to encourage women, but I would always come up with an excuse. How, all along, he was telling me to encourage women, but I would always come up with an excuse how am I going to help other women when your daughter needs you? And then, through her adolescence year, how am I going to help other women when your daughter doesn't want to listen to you? And so when she turned 19 and she said that to me, she said I've never wanted that life that you guys had basically given me. We handed her everything. I know this is a drawn out answer, but I think it's very important to paint the picture for people.

Rodrika Jones :

When the Lord asked me what was I going to do? And before I even answered, the Lord stopped me in my tracks. He said don't think about what you don't have. Don't think about what you don't know. Don't let those be a decision factor in what you're going to say next.

Rodrika Jones :

And I sat there for probably about 40 seconds, just in silence, and I said I want to encourage women through writing and through speaking. And he said how are you going to do that? You don't even at this point like you. You're so broken. And the Lord was just showing me pictures and ideas and thoughts of me and I said you're right. I said I have to sit in this and I heard him so clear. And he said it's going to be your choice of words that change your life. And I jumped on my phone instantly and I went to my notes pad and I began to start writing just journaling.

Rodrika Jones :

I've always had a love for journaling. As a little girl I didn't talk much, and so I've always journaled, I've always written, and so I went to my notes section and I began to write the notes and the Lord gave me my first book. It's my Choice of Words Changed my Life and I had no idea I was going to write a book. I was just trying to organize my thoughts and it just worked. And I jumped in from there and just was like I have to be able to help women to navigate certain spaces in their life, based off of the things that I've been through, but also so that people can understand the power of the oneness with God.

Dr. Brooks :

What I heard you say was you were doing all of these great things and you were raising your daughter and you had great intentions, but it wasn't until she told you that it was a bit much. How did that make you feel to recognize that you were broken?

Rodrika Jones :

In that moment when she said that to me and this is so interesting but so deep. So in that moment and I think it's because of what I was previously told prior to having her it was always saying things like you're stupid, like you're dumb, you'll never be anything. And so those feelings came back up. Right, because for 19 years I never really had to deal with those feelings because I knew that I was a great mother to my daughter, not because I had been taught how to, but was very strategic. I would ask people stuff. I was not afraid, I was not shameful like I, none of that stuff. And so I knew I was a good mother to her because I did it deliberately. But again, it was just one of those things where you're not maybe paying attention, and so it wasn't the life totally the life that we had given her, but it was more of the things. We did not make her do certain things and we gave her any and everything that she could possibly want and we thought that it was like everything, but really and truly she just wanted time. That's not what she wanted was time.

Rodrika Jones :

And back to your question how I felt. I felt rejected, I felt hurt, a little bit of me felt man, am I really not anything Like what am I doing now? And then I said to say no, this, like sometimes, we have to take when people say hard things to us, you have to take it at face value. Don't unpack it, don't undo it, don't make it more than what it is, but take it at face value. And that's what I had to do when she said that to me because, again, this was her truth.

Rodrika Jones :

As much as it hurt, as much as all of the things that I could have possibly felt in that moment, it was her truth. And so I had to sit with it for just a second and determine what was my next move. Will I spend another 19 years upset with her? Would I spend another 10 days not forgiving her? So I had to walk this thing like okay, I really have to like one, just figure out what my next move is. But then, when I understand my next move, now I have to write it out.

Dr. Brooks :

I'm a writer, so I just always got to be like okay, no matter what it is, I got to write because I got to calculate my thoughts. What was it like after you went through the writing? And then you're like okay, now I have this assignment, so how am I going to?

Rodrika Jones :

execute. The Lord has spoke to me previously about Pearl Woman. I was in the store purchasing some things for one of my children, some medicine or something and he said Pearl Woman. And I didn't know what that meant. I wasn't even a person that wore pearls at all, and so I just started purchasing pearls, started looking up the like meanings of pearls and things of that nature and really had no idea what I was going to do. And I was asleep.

Rodrika Jones :

One day I was asleep and the Lord woke me up and he said go forth. And I'm like what do you mean? Because, again, I'm not a tech savvy person, have never really been a fan favorite, very reserved, homebody, didn't really talk to people. I was misunderstood, it was just a lot. And one day, when the Lord said go forth, I said okay, I'm going to do it. It was like my birthday and I did a vlog two minutes or less. The Lord said do it through entericement, but I need you to give them my word and I need you to give them an action step Every single day. The Lord woke me up like clockwork. He was like just go for it. And so when I first started and this is how Pearl Woman was birthed.

Rodrika Jones :

I did a vlog and I created he said, create a private group, because there's going to be some conversations that are going to take place that need to be private. People have not talked about these things. And so I got up and I didn't know what I was going to say and it was like go, the camera was on on my phone and I just said, hey, this is Rodriguez, your sister in strength, and I was like, where did that even come from? I don't know. I think that I'm like, and it was just like the Lord was speaking to me and I recorded it. I didn't edit it because I didn't know anything about that, I just posted it and I went to sleep because I was so afraid of, like, the rejection and things of that nature, and it just took off. It literally took off in 30 days. Just took off. It literally took off in 30 days. It was about and I wasn't even, I wasn't even paying attention. I was just so focused on what the Lord was saying through these vlogs every day. I had seven days of just things, whatever the Lord would say that morning.

Rodrika Jones :

But it started off with make it happen Monday. Tackle it Tuesday. Work it out Wednesday think about it. Thursday. Fearless Friday, celebrate yourself. Saturday. And satisfied Sunday.

Rodrika Jones :

And so again, I did this every single day, given just these little two minute or less encouragement, the word of God and again an action step. And that's the way Pearl Woman was birthed. And it was. Women all over the world followed me and something happened and it caused me to open up my eyes and look and I got afraid and I jumped back and I was like, oh, what am I doing? And I got in my head I did so, yeah, that's the way it was like from that day, from that day, I started writing and then, when my book was released for my birthday is when I did I said you know what?

Rodrika Jones :

Cause? I turned 37. I said I no longer want to exist, I'm going to start living. And in my living I was like I'm going to do this as a birthday gift to myself. And I never really celebrated my birthday prior to that, ever, and I'm a twin and yeah, and I never did. And so ever since then, for my birthday, every single year, I launched something in the earth, I released something in the earth. I don't know what the Lord, whatever he says, do. I do that as a way of thanking him for allowing me to breathe on that day.

Dr. Brooks :

That's a blessing, and God is so intimate with us. So can you explain how was God using the motivational tools that you were releasing to other women to minister to you?

Rodrika Jones :

Yeah, that's so funny. You said that I was getting like inboxes and I didn't. First of all, I didn't even know what that was Like. It's like Facebook came with this thing and again, mind you, I'm not tech savvy at all and I was getting like all of these messages. It was creeping me out because I'm like who are these people? Like, I didn't know these people and they were like oh my God, your video.

Rodrika Jones :

It just blessed me and I've always been a person, brooks, to where if you're going through something and if I'm within arm reach, meaning like if I'm in the city, I'm going to come to you, I'm going to pray with you, I'm going to encourage you, I'm going to hug you. I just have always been like that, not on the big scale, but just in my personality. I will be up all night. I'm talking about women all over the world sending me inboxes, calling me through Messenger hey, can you talk? Because it's like a seven hour difference from people in different countries and different states. It was like one blessing after the next. And I was a financial analyst at the credit union, so I'm like trying to do loans at work and I can't do loans because I'm like these people need me. And it's so funny because and my husband will tell you I have been a person that had been fired like 60 something times. Working has never been, it has never been my thing. I'm like you know what Y'all want me to come in. Five days a week, nine to five. I'm missing too much, particularly in my children's life. I'm like, no, because I got to leave, I got to pick them up, I got to and I just never understood that and it's so interesting. But during this season I had actually quit my job after being fired, feeling like you're overlooked and all of these things.

Rodrika Jones :

And I told my husband, I went home and I said, king, I said I think that it's time for me to put my two weeks in, because these women were needing me like every day and we were conquering some really deep thoughts and things that they were going to and we was like searching the word of God, because that's the way I was able to do it. I get that. I've got my experience. I get that. You have your experience, but let's check and see what the word says concerning this. And I was teaching them word application. People be in my office doing a loan. I'm like hold on, give me one moment, hey. And they was like man, we're trying to figure out, what are you doing, like we are paying. And I was like oh snap, lord, I'm still in time. I'm like I got to go.

Rodrika Jones :

And so I told my husband. I said King, I said I think I need to put my two weeks in. And I guess the Lord was speaking to him because I again at this time I think I was working there maybe about two or three years or something that was like long overdue Cause I didn't really do jobs and stuff like that. And he was like okay, he was like just put your two weeks in tomorrow. And so the next day I went in and I was like I got to go. There's people that are waiting on me. And they was like because they had been watching my videos too, and they were like we was wondering when you was going to like when you were going to go.

Rodrika Jones :

And so it was just moments like that I'm telling you just not only the people calling it, but even just the testimonials of marriages mended back together, women rekindling their lives with their daughters, just undoing some things in their life, and it was just like one thing after another and the Lord was just like yeah, this is where I got you right now. Once I was like go, I was just going and I didn't even look up to see really the impact that I was making in that sense. But then, like I said, in that 30 days it was like literally a thousand women. I'm like what's happening? What do I do now and now, self stepped in the way, and now I feel like I have to do something within my own strength to keep this momentum going. And they did this and they did that and really and truly, it was just, they just wanted to eat the words of my lips every single morning. It was like it woke you up to encourage you and get you basically started on your day.

Dr. Brooks :

You often talk about balance and being intentional, especially as a wife, a mom and ministry leader. What are some practical ways that you are able to maintain balance in your life?

Rodrika Jones :

One thing that I do is I work with balance and harmony together and just understanding that a lot of times we have to understand that some things are in seasons and so, when it comes to particularly my job because that's something again that I'm still not used to having and I do have a lot of flexibility, but I think that's why I'm still there. Although I love it, it's still one of those things where you have to, like, sometimes calculate your day and in those moments when, like ministry is just like it's, it calls for a lot of work, I have to communicate that one to my husband. I have to overly communicate it to, particularly to my 13 year old, because she's mama. Anybody else in the church can do it, we don't. And then my husband be like they can't hire no help, and my job particularly is the assistant right. So for me it's just overly communicating.

Rodrika Jones :

However, when I'm not at work, it's literally totally unplugging and being present, being there, like when my daughter she's a car rider when she gets in the car and even before she gets out of the car, there is no phone for me. I'm not on the phone, I'm not taking phone calls, things of that nature, if it's something that I must take. I literally say hold on, give me a moment. And I greet my daughter hey, how was your day? What happened at school today? And we'll have. And they need to say on our hey, look at 2.35,. When my daughter gets in this car, either one I'm going to have to let you go or I'm going to have to put you on mute.

Rodrika Jones :

And as much as I can, I try to be totally present when I need to be present, and because you know how your kids are, they want your time, but then they don't want to give the time, and so I try to toggle between the two. But for me it's just really when I need to be present, being present, and I feel like that has worked best for us. My husband and I also mark up the value of vacationing, even if it's a staycation. Hey, you know what? I'm not coming in? It's particularly if I've had to do something where it's really caused a lot of time away. And then every day, also, in addition to that, every single day, about 8.30, me and my husband, it's our time you know he don't have his phone, I don't have my phone and we just connect to try to help us balance and harmony together.

Dr. Brooks :

I like that you talked about making sure that you disconnect and you spend that time in the present with your family, because that's so important. I think sometimes, when God gives us assignments and he also back burner because we're so eager to pursue our assignments, what would you say to listeners that are listening and they may feel like they don't have the capacity to do both? What strategies can you give them to carve out that time for their family?

Rodrika Jones :

Going back to my daughter, who's 25, like today, instead of going into the office to work. I was at her house at 745 this morning and I spent the entire day with her, without Rayma, without my husband again, so that we can have time together as well. And so, when it comes to certain things, they have to be non-negotiable. You have to have non-negotiables in your life, because if anything is negotiable, it'll always be negotiated right To that person who feels like man, I don't have this man. I don't have that Because, I'm going to be honest, being a person that was a homebody, didn't really do anything outside of my family, even to the point of being fired from my job, quitting my job.

Rodrika Jones :

All of that really had reference to the person that I was in my family. If things got too hectic, things didn't get done. Things needed to be done. I was always the one to make the sacrifices to do that, whether it be fire, whether it be quit or whatever the case is. And so it was easy and it is is easy for me to do things that are concerning the house.

Rodrika Jones :

It was difficult for me to do things that are outside of my house and the things that the Lord is calling me to do. However, the Lord was telling me. He said, rodriguez, you cannot negotiate your future. The things that I'm calling you to do, you can't negotiate them. But he said if you lack wisdom, then you ask me. And so in those moments I'm like God, show me how to navigate this and show me what I can and what I cannot do. And so, even going back to the communication piece, when I'm trying to be in a season of writing my book, all while working, having a daughter who is a car rider, who takes her lunch, having a husband who is basically my husband is set, he already has his degrees, he's already in his job, he doesn't really do anything outside of our home, really outside of worship, which is one night a week, so he's in the house, like where you at, what we doing, and so, again, overly communicating those times where I have to be able to show him that there are certain things that I got to do, Like I have to do these because these have to do with what I believe is my worth and it's outside of you guys, and I can't negotiate it.

Rodrika Jones :

Sometimes we might, because it's just easier to do what you've always done, but in those moments you have to do this thing I call a self-talk right, and in the self-talk you have to talk yourself in a positive way to do the things that you say that you want to do, and that's in the home, outside the home, around the home or whatever the case is. And then they just have to understand. We even did this thing because I am in ministry. We do this thing where if my husband calls me and say, hey, where are you at, instead of me saying at church, I'll say I'm at work, or I'll say I'm at the building, right, and church is on Sunday because this is my job and so we have to just do some of those things to help. And then you have to remind people and you the way you treat yourself, is the way you're teaching other people to be able to treat you.

Dr. Brooks :

That is so true.

Rodrika Jones :

Two things non-negotiable, right. And then you teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself. Not just I'm just this person, because even like my husband and my children be like explain your wife. Oh my God, she's such a good mom, she's such a good wife and you think, is that it? But in the grand scheme, that's all you've shown them. Yeah, you haven't shown them anything else.

Rodrika Jones :

When I wrote my first book my Oldest Daughter the book is $15. She had $20. And, mind you, you know you always giving your kids money she said I would purchase the book, but I don't have any change. Imagine how that made me feel. But then, on the flip side of it, because I kept going and I didn't let that stop me, I realized really and truly, like she's a kid, like I don't want to give you my whole 20. So, rodrigo, don't take it that serious.

Rodrika Jones :

And sometimes it's something on the inside of us that God is trying to work out. And so when I thought about that and I kept pressing, even now she's oh my God, I'm taking this class with Dr T and she's like looking at my homework and she's oh my God, mama, you're doing such a good job. But just imagine if I negotiated my future, the future that God has called me to live. I would have still just been mama and I would have still just been the wife. Right, and it's not about titles, but it's about for me. I want to die empty, I don't want to like just man, all of this potential in the grave and all of this and all of that because we continue to negotiate.

Rodrika Jones :

So don't negotiate. That person just listened. Don't negotiate. In whatever way you feel like you don't, then you're not. But if you believe that you can, you will. It may not be in the grand scheme or it may not be on the way somebody else does it, but it'll be in the way that you're supposed to do it, and whatever time that looks like, if it's once a day, twice a week, whatever the case is, Earlier, you talked about rejection when it came to writing your book, how were you able to overcome the fear of rejection and release that book For me?

Rodrika Jones :

when I step outside of myself, I get real excited.

Rodrika Jones :

I don't know if y'all can tell I'm excited like now, Like I'm normally, like I talk to, I say whatever the case is, but I think it was knowing that the Lord had allowed me to make it through the things that I've made it through. Right, my husband is not my first door biological father and so even when it came to the things such as having a husband after being just doing basically a single parent, not having to follow, he walked past me like he don't know me and just all of these things and all of these things that could have came with that, I had to tell myself, no matter what had been ingrained in me. I said, Lord, I made it. You let me make it through everything that I've been through. I'm in my right frame of mind. I don't. I'm not struggling, I don't have any mental illness. I have every activity of my limb. Like for the majority, I think that I'm good. There's some good there. I might be broken, but there's some good there and all of these things that I said, Lord, there's no way that there's no man on this earth that loves me and that can love my daughter.

Rodrika Jones :

I had no idea it was a man of God, but me just saying that broke the curse off of my life, that I had been living for so long, and so I took that same mindset when it came to me doing what the Lord had called me to do, whether it be to have a one-on-one conversation, whether it meant for me to have a conversation with somebody somewhere else or whatever the case is, or even to write my book. Like when I was in it, I'm like somebody's going to be delivered Listen here, because I'm delivered right, Because I'm healed. Somebody is going to just take a chance on themselves because I did, and I did only because of God. And so when I get in that moment and I realize especially I don't even got to look back over my life Like when I just just think about me sitting here, talking to you and breathing, like it's just, I have to release this, because there's somebody that's going to be connected and if it can just change just a glimpse of their mind, I need to be able to do it. I want to do it Like I'm excited to do it.

Rodrika Jones :

Like my first book. You can't stop reading it. People were reading it. In two, three days. They was like this is good. Even when I get discouraged, I pick it up and I'm like Lord, I wrote this is good. I'm talking about from the beginning, all the way through and it's I think it's 62 pages, so it's not long at all, but it is really good.

Dr. Brooks :

And again, I think to answer your question is just my excitement and my drive to see other people not live the life that I live, but live a life that may be impossible to so many people.

Rodrika Jones :

I am so glad that you released your book and since we're talking about it, can you tell people what your book is about and who is your target audience for your book? Yeah, so I have two different books. One is my Choice of Words Changed my Life, and in that book I just went over some scenarios in life that I have been through and how I have used the word of God to help me make the right decision. Where I come from, people go off of their feelings a lot, and so we say things that we don't really mean. We act in ways that we really have not thought out. We just like full of emotions and in my life I'm like I can't rely on. I can't rely on these emotions. I got to learn the word of God, or I have to learn some words of something that's more dependable than what I've been going through, and so I use that word. I use that particular book again to help people who just want to change their life, and they want to change their life by speaking from Proverbs 18 and 21, where it talks about the power of death, and life is in the tongue and those who love it will eat it through, and so, really, that whole book is just to teach your mouth how to speak.

Rodrika Jones :

Yeah, and so in my second book is how to Conquer a Defeated Mindset. That book is particularly to help people really consider the word doubt and look at how you operate and how you move and doubt and how doubt can just snatch you just that quick and change the whole trajectory of your life right. It's like even when the Lord asked me, he said, rodrigo, what you gonna do now? And I begin to speak and he said, no, wait, don't think about who you, what you ain't got, because I always did that. I'd be like man, I could do this, I could do that, I could do this, I can do that, but I don't have this, but I don't have this, but I don't have that. And the Lord remembered that because we got history with him right and he knew what I spoke out of my mouth was detrimental to my next, and so even him saying that. And so for me it's like how can we navigate this defeated mindset? And then the hyperlink is when all I can see is who I'm not. So it's not that we're not conquering, it's not that we're not succeeding, it's not that we're not making it.

Rodrika Jones :

My vision is only on those things that I'm not, which is really stopping me, and sometimes it's just those little bitty small things. It's like that doesn't even make sense. And the Lord told me. He said Rodrigo. He said, look, you're not for everybody, right, because we want to be liked, we want to be invited, we wanted this, we wanted that, he said, but you're not for everybody. He said but your purpose for many and I need you to stay focused on the many. And I was like, okay, because it would stop me in my tracks. They didn't support him, they didn't say nothing, they didn't like it, they didn't this, they didn't that. He said, no, you got to stay focused and your future cannot be negotiable.

Rodrika Jones :

And again, that particular audience and now I'm, in this different season, going to be releasing. It's actually a journal, it's a 365 day journal releasing November 4th, which is my 42nd and a half birthday, and I'm releasing that particular one to help people write the vision for their life, as it talks about in Rebecca, and so I'm really just diving into really that whole book and helping people to write out what the vision is that they believe, as God speaks to them throughout the 365 days concerning their life, so that they have something to go back on. I think that a lot of times God gives us things and what happens is we get excited in the moment but then we forget, for whatever reason. We forget what the Lord is saying to us. But this will give you a blueprint.

Rodrika Jones :

So say, for instance, if you're selling clothes, you're selling books, and somebody say you know what To get you there, you can just start selling hot dogs at the hot dog stand and it'll get you some money real quick. And if you don't have a plan, you're thinking about this money real quick. You're not thinking about the time, the energy that you're going to take to build up something that God never called you to. But if you have this vision, you can go back and you say why would I do that? That don't make sense, but something that you've written out, that you will have in your heart. And you're right not saying that you're removing the Holy Spirit, because I know he'll come and direct. But again, so many people don't even have visions or plans for their life, so they just follow for anything, you with the next best, you with the trends, you with the fads, rather than what is God calling me to do as an individual? What is God calling me to do, and how am I cultivating that?

Dr. Brooks :

What made you come up with doing it for 365 days, versus a 30 day or 45 days?

Rodrika Jones :

Yeah, because so throughout my life the Lord has been showing me and I got very discouraged. Probably about about three days ago the Lord gave me this journal and I'm just a writer, when he gives me I can write it in like a day, because I'm just go, go, go. But for me it was like the Lord was showing me Rodrigo, you do this and then you have no additional plans. You do this and then you have no additional plans. You do this and then you have no additional plans. You do this and you have no additional plans. And I'm like, yeah, you're right because you are. And so for me it was like, how about if we, instead of just doing these quick fixes like the world wants us to do 30 days, you all in, you done lost weight, you done worked out, you done, did this and you did that. Now you've, you're on this journey. Right, because they say 21 days creates a new habit. But what if we really dive in and dive deep, like real deep for our lives, and just see ourself in every season of the year, not just in the summer when things are good, not just in the fall, when things are laid back and warm and cozy, but like in your just seeing your life in its entirety for one whole year, to write out the vision that you see and that you're walking with God, constantly inviting the Holy Spirit in to walk this thing out with you, and you will be able to see where the enemy has come in to deceive you, to trick you and to steal from you, to rob you just what the word says. But then you'll also be able to see what God said but I've come, that you might have life and have it more abundantly. You'll be able to do that because you walk in the vision and you don't have to wait and be like you know what. Let me run to my prayer closet. No, the word says have that word hidden in my heart and I think as we write it, as we dive in it, as we really sit with ourselves, it'll help you to really just, without a doubt, be who God has called you to be. Not necessarily in its fullness, but you'll be sure about what God's calling you to. Because even with me, like I'm so creative, I got so many arms in the fire and I believe that they all will work together. But I'm like God, what am I working towards? And I haven't written the vision and he's told me to do it so many times and literally, just like I gave that hot dog analogy, there has been so many people that have come to me and I'm like, girl, oh my God, you should do this, you should do that.

Rodrika Jones :

Even the point, brooks, when I released my clothing line, there was somebody who came to me and she said, hey, you didn't tell me that you released your clothes. I was like, oh, I forgot, like I, just I, you didn't tell me that you released your clothes. I was like, oh, I forgot, like I just I've been going because I work and all of the things. And she was like, oh my God, I heard it did so well and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, this and any other. And I was like thank you, I knew it was going to do well because the Lord told me to do it. So I wasn't worried necessarily about that. And she was like no, the Lord didn't tell me that. I was like no, I have not considered. And she's like, oh, okay, so we kept talking. And then she was like I want to be. And I was like and so again, now the flesh then clicked in. I'm like we go back. I said so who is the investor? What is? She was like oh, I am. She's like we can go anywhere, we go store you want. We did about all of that. I'm like, okay, so I think about. So let's schedule a meeting, let's talk about it and see. And we had, the meeting was good.

Rodrika Jones :

And I got home and the Lord said don't you forget what I showed you in the dream. And I said, oh, I called, I said thanks, but no thanks. Another investor. He came and he was real nice and he this and the Lord, he whispered in my ear. He said the blessings of the Lord make it rich. And added no sorrow If you take, this is going to bring sorrow upon you and your family, not right now, but later. And I said, sir, listen, this call, thank you, I appreciate you so much.

Rodrika Jones :

And in those moments we got to be so careful about the things that we do and we got to be like in tune with God and have a vision for our life so that we not all kilter. And everybody around me, particularly with the guy, everybody around me was like you didn't negotiate, you didn't consider, you didn't this, you didn't that, you didn't. And I said no. The Lord said. This is what he's telling me. The blessings of the Lord make it rich, adds no sorrow. This is going to add sorrow. It might be good now we're talking $100,000, not like it's that much, but we're talking $150,000. It may be good now, but this is going to add sorrow to your life and to your family's life.

Rodrika Jones :

This business has set up a legacy and you're going to do this just to have something. Oh, set up a legacy and you're going to do this just to have something. Oh, absolutely not. Not when you're walking with God and God's hand is on something that God has called you to do. And so, again, having that mindset and like we can't be, like tossed to and fro, we can't be outkilled, so we can't be wanting to go with the trends and the fads and this, and that you got to be sure about what God is calling you to do, and in order to do that, you got to be able to write out the vision.

Dr. Brooks :

You are dropping gems. My coaching clients. I asked them a question. I said I understand you're telling me it's good, but is it God? Because something could be good, like the investors coming to you that was good, but was it God?

Dr. Brooks :

And then, they have this look in their eye like what are you talking about? I said, just because something is good means it's not going to bring you physical harm, means that it's going to advance your family, it's going to have all of these positive benefits. But it's that, god? So how do you define and cultivate resilience in your life and what advice can you give our listeners on developing their resilience in the face of adversity?

Rodrika Jones :

I think it goes back to that non-negotiation, not negotiating the things that, again, you believe that you were set out to do. And when it comes to resilience and just being able to navigate through adversity, like I think sometimes we get, we're so, particularly for me and where I come from, we're determined to get past it. We don't want to deal with it, we want to just go and just become somebody else tomorrow. But sometimes when you do that, things begin to lay dormant. And when they lay dormant then they'll come up at the wrong time. And so I think it's good for us to deal with, especially with those particular things that we know in adversity and trying to overcome. It is to deal with those things and then, as you deal with them, then move healthy, then move to the next thing. Right, because I think even that is resilient, to overcome that type of stuff.

Rodrika Jones :

And so for me it's just being determined, doing self-talk, like talking myself through some things, not being reactive to things but being proactive, meaning again I'm going back and I'm uprooting. I'm asking particularly my children are so important to me, my children have I said something to you that maybe shook you? Have I done something to you that maybe you didn't understand? Have me and your daddy parented you in a season of your life, meaning just a time period of your life, where maybe you didn't understand it? Can we go back and give a little bit more explanation to that?

Rodrika Jones :

Again, sometimes we don't go back and undo things and I think when we don't do that it hinders us in that resilient space. It dulls a little bit to me because again, you're not going back and navigating really through adversity. You just say you came through it, but really and truly you didn't really come through it. You just started doing something new. And so for me I say go back and look like, really look at your life and see what things that you can undo. It may be a lot of things and it may not be as many things.

Dr. Brooks :

You was talking about your mindset and how that you self-talk reaffirmed things. You talked about how you bring in the word of God, how that's so important, how it's important to write your vision, how it's important also to surround yourself with people that are going to encourage and motivate you, because that is what Pearl Women Ministry is it's a group of people that is just motivating and encouraging one another. And so, again, thank you so much for joining. And you said that your journal will be out on November the 4th. Will that be on all of the platforms?

Rodrika Jones :

Yes, so it'll be Amazon and Barnes and Noble. How to Conquer a Defeated Mindset is on Cabo and it's at.

Dr. Brooks :

Walmart too. Okay, so I will have all of her information in this episode description, so make sure that you go out and support her. Roderika, thank you so much for joining us. You have been such a blessing.

Intro/Outro:

Thanks for listening. Please rate this episode and share it with your family and friends. To learn more about your host or to book a coaching session, visit wwwbrooksdemmingcom. Until next time, rise.

People on this episode