Thriving with ADHD: Navigating Life's Challenges

On this episode of Off-Balance, I speak with Jen Krein, a certified life coach who works with young women with ADHD to attain self-acceptance and empowerment. Jen owns and operates Catalyst Life Coaching. During this episode, Jen talks about her experience as a mom of a child with ADHD, her coaching practice, and helping others. 

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Transcript

 You. Welcome to the Off Balance podcast, where faith, family and business collide with your host, Dr. Brooks Deming, Christian life coach, intercessor and entrepreneur. 11s Hello 

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 0:25 

 everyone. I'm Dr. Brooks. Welcome to Off Balance, a podcast for adults trying to balance life. Thank you for tuning in each week to learn strategies to help you be the better version of yourself. The sponsor of today's episode is clothed by J Christine, a Christian based clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday fashionable conscious woman. 

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 Today's guest is an ICF approved certified life coach. She received her training through coach Training Alliance. In her practice, she works with young women with ADHD to help them attain self acceptance and empowerment. I am so excited too. 

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 Welcome to the show Jen crime. 

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 1:08 

 Thanks Brooks. It's great to be here. How are you doing today? I'm doing pretty well. How are you? I 

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 am well. So just for the listening audience can get to know you. Who is Jen Kryne? 

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 Oh, boy. Big question there. Well, to start, I am starting my own coaching business. That is one thing that's been new in my life, coaching business for young women with ADHD. But that really kind of goes back to my family history. I've been married for 21 years, and I have two daughters, 17 and 20. And the reason why so much of my life revolves around or my business revolves around ADHD is because my oldest daughter has ADHD as well as my husband. And it's just something that our family has learned a lot about through the years, 1s and it's something that's become very important to me. So been a stay at home mom through the years up until I started this coaching business. I've homeschooled my girls since they were young, and now I've just actually finished that homeschooling experience and ready to start on my own path now. 2s It's 

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 2:33 

 great. So you said that your husband and your daughter has ADHD, and you mentioned that your coaching business is to help women. But what if I am listening and I'm a parent with a child that has ADHD? Would you be able to provide me with coaching services? 

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 2:53 

 I think so. Definitely. Actually, I have a good friend who's a therapist who just spoke to me about that and addressed that there are clinicians in the area where I live that really have a need for that. So that is something I'm looking into. Getting involved with is speaking to those parents of kids with ADHD, because I think that that is really valuable. I think it's not just the family member who has ADHD that is affected by it, but it impacts the whole family. And in my own experience, I had to change who I was so that I knew how to help my daughter. 2s And 

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 3:36 

 just listening to you. I know I hear a lot of people say jokingly because it's become a cliche, oh, I have ADHD, but for those that are listening that don't really understand what ADHD, can you provide us with some clarity? 

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 3:52 

 Oh, sure. 3s There are so many different components to it. Ad HD is very much like, in a sense, autism. And that autism is seen as a spectrum disorder. I see ADHD as a spectrum disorder. It affects people differently, but it's definitely an executive function issue. 2s They say attention deficit, but it's not really a deficit. If they have something that they're incredibly interested in, they can focus on something for hours. 3s They need that dopamine that stimulation. So if they have to do a boring task, the motivation is not there to do it because it's not going to be fun. They're not going to get a reward from it. 1s Yeah, there's a lot of different components to it. There's processing, which with my daughter is what I finally picked up on after several years, that for her, she couldn't go from reading something and then applying it. And I remember the day it just kind of struck me because I was so frustrated with her. I'm like, but you just read this. How do you not understand it? And it just kind of clicked. It's like you can't process the information and then go and apply it. 2s There are so many different ways, but those are just a few ways that ADHD can affect people. 

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 And if a person wanted to reach out to you for coaching services, what would your coaching look 

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 like? 2s How do you mean, specifically? 

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 Like, say, for instance, if I'm a person and I have ADHD and I think I want some assistance, but I'm unsure I'm unfamiliar with coaching. What would a coaching program 

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 5:42 

 entail? 1s Well, initially, I think I'd like to speak to the person just to see if we're a good fit and kind of see where they're at with their ADHD, 1s because it does take a lot. It's a commitment to work on that. So just making sure that the individual is in a place where they're actually ready to move forward and do the work. 1s But I'm not of that sense that I don't feel that the ADHD individual needs to alter themselves to become more like a neurotypical. I want to encourage them to embrace who they are and find a way to live in this quote unquote neurotypical world in a way that makes them happy. As long as nobody's getting hurt, but just so that they're living their life, their best life, but not feeling I don't want them to feel like, okay, if I'm not doing it the way neurotypical is doing it, then I'm doing it wrong. They need to find their path that makes them happy and successful all on their own. That's the approach that I would take with them. 

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 6:59 

 That's actually really good because I know a lot of the times we want, 1s especially if you're seen as different, we want you to fit in the box. And so the actual idea that you will allow them to still keep their identity and just find what works best for them, I think that's very important. So what would you 

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 say 1s would be 

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 challenge? Well, I don't even want to say a challenge because I know sometimes we can be hesitant to try something new. So how would you just encourage a person to try coaching? 

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 7:35 

 How would I encourage them to try it? 5s You could do just a sample session with them, just for them to get a feel for it. 2s I guess I would give them my approach to it and just as an encouragement to them that I'm not looking to make them change who they are, but to be the version of themselves that's going to make them happy. 3s That 

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 8:09 

 is so awesome because I know even if I think back on my experiences, 

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 anytime that I heard coach because it seems like coaching has just arrived on the scene quickly and it's just something that a lot of people are doing. But what I come to realize with more research that these coaches have niches, they're very tailored to a specific audience. And so I'm glad that you're focusing on ADHD because I don't see that a lot in the coaching arena, so that's a really good thing. So what has your experience been like with launching your business? 2s Well, to be honest, it's very much stepping out of my comfort zone, although it's something that I feel like I've wanted to do for long time to start my own business. 1s But I tend to like safe and predictable and plan everything out and know what's coming at me. So 1s it's definitely been a leap of faith just stepping out into this and starting the business. 2s Without really saying for sure where this is going to go because it is so new at this point. And it's actually my best friend who has a therapy practice, who kind of suggested to me that I think this would be a really good fit for you. And she'd like to kind of work me into her practice. There a little bit for some of her clients that she feels could use coaching because she also deals with individuals with ADHD and autism 2s as well as other things. 1s It's been scary, but I've been pushing myself through it and 1s just trying to take it as an adventure in a sense, and see where it goes. 1s I 

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 think you're going to do a really good job and also 1s with your niche. Like I said, I think it's really necessary because a lot of the times they can get therapy, they can get counseling, but you don't really see a lot of coaches that is working with clients that have ADHD. So 1s I think you're going to do really great because like I said, there is a need and so I think you're going to do good. So are you working on a website or anything like that? 

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 10:41 

 Yeah, I do have a website up and running, 2s so I have that going slowly. Working on 1s building the clients, I just actually had some health issues, so that kind of set me back a couple of weeks here. But as soon as I'm kind of past that, I can have more energy and time to put in driving this forward. But I am fortunate enough that I have several people who have 1s established mostly in therapy practices, kind of coming behind me and saying, yes, I think this is going to be really good for you, and willing to refer people to me. So that is really helpful and comforting to know that I have that support. Support and that backing for this. 

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 11:35 

 Yeah, support is very definitely very important. So what age group are you going to work with? 

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 11:45 

 You know, I've kind of geared it more towards probably young women. So like late teens, early to mid 20s. That's not to say that I wouldn't work with anyone who is willing to do the work, but I think that's kind of I'm in that age range because mostly I think that's where my daughter's at. And I just really want to have her feel encouraged and empowered 1s with her ADHD and just 1s have that sense of I can go out into the world. And in my research and things that I read about, I read so much about young girls, women who end up not getting diagnosed until later in life and the struggles that hit them because most of the time it goes unnoticed because they have an inattentive type, which is what my daughter and my husband actually have. 1s So to me, that's really heartbreaking because I already look at how. 2s Women who are neurotypical struggle. But then you throw ADHD on top of that, you throw the executive functioning issues on top of that and these women are struggling even more and end up with comorbidities anxiety, depression. And 1s I think I would love to work with the younger women to try and 1s nip that in the bud so that they're not carrying this into their later years of their life. I really would love to see them just be empowered and confident as they go off into the world and not be weighed down by their ADHD or expectations of them. 1s That 

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 13:33 

 is so interesting because when I think of ADHD I had no idea that can lead to other areas of maybe being insecure or maybe having anxiety. So it is actually really great that you have a background, that you have first hand experience so that you would be able to better help your clients. 

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 It was just AHA 

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 moment, like I never 

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 considered. 2s Yeah, actually, when my daughter was first diagnosed, she was diagnosed with depression as well, which was what we dealt with first. 1s But she's been, I think, pretty fortunate because we have done extensive therapy on with her family. Not just with her, but family therapy, because, like I said, it does affect everyone. 1s She ended up starting medication. So she has had all those supports for the last eight, nine years of her life, 1s which I don't know, that a lot of people end up getting. I worry sometimes that parents might put it on the school to take care of the kids, or they just want to slap a medication at it and just say, let the medication fix them. But as I learned from myself, I needed to change myself so that I could interact with her better, because our relationship was really in the toilet at the time and she and I were not getting along. And that was hard as her mother, but it really it really took me taking a step back and saying, okay, what do I need to do? What am I contributing to this situation that's not being helpful to her and had to alter my behaviors so that she and I could work together and work through the therapy and just get her to a better place in her life. 1s That's very good. And you said something earlier that stood out to me. You said sometimes that people don't get diagnosed until later in life. So if they are experiencing symptoms, I know one of the popular ones is like a short attention span or being easily distracted. 

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 What advice can you give? If a parent is recognizing that something is not quite right but they haven't gotten a diagnosis, 1s what can you suggest for them to do? 

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 I would suggest them getting that diagnosis, having their child tested to see what exactly is going on, because they will test for various things. 2s Because it's just I think one, it's helpful to know for sure what you're dealing with because sometimes 2s it could look like something else. I think having that definitive diagnosis is really helpful, but I think getting them into therapy, if they're comfortable with medication, going that route. But I really feel that. 1s A marriage of therapy and medication is really important. I don't know that 2s one is enough. Which is why with my friend and myself doing this together, we felt is really important because she could have the clients under in a therapeutic mode and I could have them in a coaching mode and hopefully together we get them to a better place. So that would be my recommendation first, is just get the diagnosis and then find the support, find the therapy, 2s use the medication if you're comfortable with that, or find alternative methods if you're not comfortable with the medication. 1s But I would definitely go down that road because don't know if it's something that is going to be able to be done just by the individual themselves. They definitely need some support. 

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 17:42 

 Yeah. I'm so glad too, that you did not. 

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 Take therapy off the table. I think a lot of the times people are hesitant to try therapy, but therapy and coaching would really be beneficial for ADHD. 

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 17:58 

 And so if I was a client and I was thinking about a coach, what are some things that coaches do? Like, as far as do you help create plans, strategies? Like, what does coaching look like? 

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 Well, it looks like understanding the plan that the individual has for themselves and essentially working alongside them to attain those goals that they have in mind 2s through a series of questions that kind of bring their own wisdom and knowledge to the surface. So it differs in therapy 1s in that way and also in the sense that it's a forward movement type of interaction, not like with therapy, where you're going into the past and bringing all that up. It's more taking the client from where they are to where they want to be and just working co create with them to get their. 2s It. I'm 

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 19:05 

 glad that you distinguished the difference between coaching and therapy because I do think sometimes that it's confusing. And so basically the approach is just to get them to jump start their goals or if they feel like they're stuck a coach would be you will act as someone to guide them to the 

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 next step, basically. Okay, that's really good. 2s And then you mentioned 

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 that you do have a website. What is your website? 1s It's catalystlifecoaching. Net. 4s Catalystlifecoaching net? Yeah. We'll make sure that the listeners have that you can find that. I'll make sure that I link that on my website because like I said, I really am so excited for you because you're definitely necessary because a lot of 

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 people that 

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 have ADHD or any type of issue that makes them different or makes them labeled as different, they do have a hard time adjusting. And so I am so ecstatic that you are going to be a coach in this field. I know my nephew has ADHD 

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 be and 

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 he sees a therapist and. 

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 The 

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 therapy is working for him, but 

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 he still struggles, especially in school. He still struggles sometimes socially as well. And so the idea of there being coaches to aid him, I think my nephew would even be able to benefit from having a coach, having someone that understands, having someone that can help him kind of plan out things. So, again, just thank you, because I never would have considered 

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 trying to find him a 

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 coach. 3s Yeah, it would be helpful. I mean, I think even with therapy and coaching too, it's him learning. I don't know how old he is, but self advocacy, they have to understand enough about where their struggles are at. And again, the way each individual struggles is very different. 2s And just being able to express to 2s adults, teachers, whoever. 2s What their needs are so that they can have their needs met. Because definitely what works in the classroom for most of the kids is not going to necessarily work for the ADHD child, which is why I'm homeschooling my kids. And I get that that's not something that everybody can do, but they can be very proactive in advocating for themselves what they need. 2s And 

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 22:02 

 so you took on homeschooling your kids. At what grade did you start homeschooling 

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 them? 1s When the daughter who has ADHD 3s after fourth grade, I pulled her out and then just pulled my younger one out on principal, because I wasn't going to have the school telling me I couldn't do things with her or have to keep her in for certain things. I was having a little bit of back and forth battle with the school and finally just gave up and said, Forget it, I'll do it myself. 2s She just graduated high school two years ago. My younger one actually just graduated now. So, yeah, for the past ten years I've been homeschooling them, but did it mostly because I could see that my daughter was not going to get what she needed in the public school, 1s whereas I could tailor her learning in a way that worked for her better than they would be able to. So 1s I just decided to pull her out and teach her at home. 

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 23:11 

 I'm glad that you said that homeschooling her gave you the capability to tailor learning, because I was thinking, in my mind, if I was a parent, and I was kind of unsure. I knew that I wanted to home school, but I was unsure if I would be able to do it with the ADHD diagnosis. And so you use the same curriculum, but you were just able to tailor it? 

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 23:35 

 No, actually, I didn't use any of the school's curriculum. I handpicked that myself. 1s Eventually, we ended up joining a community that had its own curriculum, but even within that, I could tailor it to meet her needs, so that if I had to scale up or scale back, I had the freedom to do that. 1s I learned very early on that if something was colorful and interactive and something she could read as well as listen to, that was good for her, especially when it came to math. So I was able to find a curriculum that enabled her to get her math on without struggling with reading through something, just reading through and then trying to apply. So it allowed me to be A lot more flexible 2s with the way her brain worked. 

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 24:37 

 That is really good. I am learning so much in this conversation. So you mentioned earlier that as a parent, you had to adjust your style. So what advice can you give for a parent? That maybe this is a new journey for them and they're feeling frustrated or 

 U1 

 24:54 

 overwhelmed? 1s I think probably one of the biggest things is just to understand their child is not trying to frustrate them on purpose, 2s because that's kind of where I was at. I mean, there were behaviors that my daughter was expressing that just would set me off, but I didn't understand. I didn't have the knowledge that she was actually struggling with something. 1s So I think it's just to understand that your child's not doing this on purpose. They're not lazy. 2s This is not affecting their intelligence at all. And just that they need to be loved and supported for who they are. I mean, they also need to be encouraged and pushed to grow, but they need to feel safe and secure. 2s In that they have a space where they can be themselves because the world outside is not going to always be so friendly to them. 2s That 

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 is so good. 

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 So if you can leave the listening audience with one final thought, this is going to be two parts because I am just intrigued by by what you're saying. So two parts if you can leave the listening audience with the thought of the importance of supporting someone with ADHD, what would you say? 3s Well, I think it's important because when you look at a lot of those comorbidities that come along with it, like I said, the anxiety, the depression, low self esteem, low self confidence, that support is so important. 2s Our kids, regardless of whether or not they have any kind of learning issue, they need that support from us to be able to go out into the world and take on whatever the world throws them. So I think that that is super important. That they just can feel safe at home and understood and that they can have their needs met there and learn how to express those needs when they go out into the world and. 2s Be happy. 3s And then 

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 the second part to that would be, what would you say to the people that 1s have ADHD or they have a child with ADHD and they can be coached by you, but there's a stigma, they're unsure of what this is going to be like. What can you say to them? 

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 27:45 

 Me 3s speaking to the stigma, let's get rid of it. That is ultimately my goal. I don't want people to 2s feel stigmatized by this. I don't want people to feel labeled. The more I understand ADHD and the more I kind of can see it. As I move about in the world and interact with people, 2s I'm getting this sense that 3s it's not as scarce as maybe we think it is, that maybe the number of neurotypical to neurodivergence isn't that different. 1s So that stigma needs to get thrown out and people need to just embrace that this is who I am and that's okay and. 2s Go out there confident in who they are. And that is my goal when I'm coaching these young women. I want them to be confident in their abilities, even if it doesn't look like what the world expects from them. 2s That 

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 28:56 

 is good advice. And so if I'm a teen and I'm listening and I'm thinking about coming to you as my coach, 3s I know that the doctor's office certain things is confidential. Is coaching 

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 confidential? Absolutely. 1s Yeah. Anything that is said within a coaching session will be kept within the coaching session. 

 U2 

 29:21 

 That's good to know because I know sometimes people may want to embark on the journey, but they're probably unsure if 1s the sessions are confidential or not. So thank you so much for answering that for me. 

 U1 

 29:35 

 Sure. So, 

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 29:37 

 Jen, it has been a pleasure. You have just really opened my eyes. I had no idea. 2s Of all of the things that can be impacted by ADHD. So thank you for your transparency, thank you for coming on the show. Thank you for introducing us to Catalyst life coaching. Although everyone that's listening, I'm going to have this information linked on my website, Brooksdaming.com. So when you guys are looking for your coach, when you're looking for someone to refer your family and friends to, I definitely want you to think of Jen. So again, Jen, thank you so much for joining us today. 

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 Thanks for having me, Brooks. This is a lot of fun. This 

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 concludes today's episode. Thank you for tuning in. I hope the information presented adds value to your life. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube at brooksdimming. The sponsor of today's episode was clothed by J Christine, a Christian clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday, fashionable, conscious woman. To learn more about today's guests, visit brooksdimming.com. Until next time, be resilient. 4s Thanks for joining. Please rate this episode and share this podcast with your family and friends. To learn more about your home most, visit 

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 www.brooksdenning.com.