Coaching the Champions: Unlocking Greatness in Leaders

On this episode, I speak with Jabari Peddie about coaching leaders to take on heightened leadership roles in their schools. Jabari is an educator with experience as a teacher, principal, and school administrator. Jabari is a husband, educator, coach, and leader. Jabari's passion for coaching leaders to be the best version  of themself is evident in his coaching practice. 

Transcript

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 0:00 

 You. Welcome to the Off Balance podcast, where faith, family and business collide with your host, Dr. 

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 0:09 

 Brooks Deming, Christian life coach, intercessor and entrepreneur. 11s Hello 

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 0:25 

 everyone. I'm Dr. Brooks. Welcome to Off Balance, a podcast for adults trying to balance life. Thank you for tuning in each week to learn strategies to help you be the better version of yourself. The sponsor of today's episode is clothed by Jay Christine, a Christian based clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday, fashionable, conscious woman. 

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 0:47 

 Today's 

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 guest is an educator serving in the roles of teacher, school administrator and principal. Over the past year, he has taken his passion to educate others into the field of coaching. As a coach, he uses his expertise and understanding of organizational strategy, school culture and design, and instructional and operational leadership to coach leaders to take on heightened leadership roles in their schools. He is a Morehouse College graduate, husband and phenomenal 

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 1:16 

 leader. 

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 Welcome to the show, Mr. Jabari Petty 

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 thank you for having me. I appreciate it. 

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 1:24 

 Thank you so much for being here on Today. Can you just tell the listening audience, who is Jabari? Mr. Bari? Petty it's a very introspective question. 2s Well, I'll first start off by saying that I am a native New Yorker living in Boston. So you can imagine the amount of friction that I get. There always static. 1s But no, I'm a husband, a brother, 1s a son, an educator, and most recently, I am a coach. Particularly, I am a coach of junior to senior level executives working to help their perforemance across multiple 

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 industries. 

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 And so what made you start your coaching 

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 2:09 

 practice? 2s I have to trace that back to when I very first started teaching. 2s I think it's fair to say that teaching was my first introduction into 1s the working force. But working with students, in many ways as a teacher, you were more than just a teacher. You're a brother to some, 2s father to others, 1s and in many ways, a mentor and a coach. And that's where I got my first start at it, though I didn't have the language at the time to know that I was coaching when I was coaching or teaching my children. 

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 2:57 

 And then you stated that in your coaching practice, you're going to help mid and senior level 

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 3:02 

 executives. Yeah, junior to senior level executives. So 

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 3:06 

 what made you choose that particular that 

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 group? 1s Well, 2s most recently, 1s my career has taken me to a place in which I am serving as a director of a leadership and development program. 1s For an organization here in Boston where I live, and I realized that the services that I was providing to these education leaders anywhere from your grade level leads up to your executive directors of districts or management organizations. I realized that what they were gaining from their interactions with me, that being the coaching sessions, that this is a practice that can really scale to multiple industries. And I think it's my approach in particular that is missing often from your more corporate sector in that industry, education tends to lean towards 2s they place a premium on emotional intelligence. They place a premium on your soft skill. Those and that, historically, is, from what I understand, what I've been told, what I've researched has been missing from the corporate sector. And leaders who have IEQ, they get the best out of their people, and they tend to be the front runners of. Of their organizations or other industries. And so I want to bring that to the corporate space. 2s So 

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 4:38 

 as a coach, what approach do you take to kind of help them develop those competencies? 

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 4:45 

 Great question. Well, the first thing I do is listen. I think that is my superpower. I've been told that since I was a teacher. I've the first thing I do is listen, really try to deeply understand 1s what is being shared in that sacred coaching space. 1s And not just like what is being said, but it's how the thing is being said. I think that weight really helps me to understand 1s the significance of what's being shared and the significance of that moment. And so when I hear what my client or what the leaders are saying to me, I have an ability to process, synthesize, say it back to them in a way that echoes and in a way that affirms what it is that they are sharing and them getting or hearing it. It affirms for them what it is that they're experiencing. And it helps them to gain greater clarity around the theme. 1s That they're trying to solve. 

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 5:53 

 That's really good. So typically if a leader came to you, they wouldn't necessarily have a problem. You can also coach someone that is just trying to get better or maybe sustain those skills as 

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 6:05 

 well. Yeah, that's correct. That is correct. For sure. Though I do push the people who I have the privilege of coaching and serving do push them to think about a problem that they want to bring to the space so that they can be really metacognitive about their practice, so that they can be really aware about themselves when they are experiencing their work. Often they're not pushed to do that when they're in the work. They just go, they just operate, they just move. Often they move hopefully, they move forward. Words sometimes they move in circles. But I push them to really be aware of themselves and what's happening in their ecosystem in the moment so that they can bring that to the coaching sessions. And I help them to really process what it is that they saw, what it is that they encountered, and make sense of it so that they can have a real clear path and strategy for what's to come. 

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 7:03 

 And then you mentioned that this can be strategies that can be used across multiple industries. So basically anyone that's in a leadership position can contact you for 

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 7:13 

 coaching. That's correct. Yes. And so what 

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 7:17 

 would you say to a person that maybe feel like that coaching wouldn't be beneficial to them? Because coaching is fairly new in the sense that it's now at the forefront of a lot of marketing strategies. And so people are kind of unfamiliar with what coaching is. So what would you say to a person? They know that they need some type of assistance, but they're not sure if coaching would be the route to 

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 7:40 

 go. Yeah, what you said is completely true. That also makes me a little bit sad because not everybody represents coaching correctly. Right. And when people say, oh, yeah, we coach at our organization, and they don't coach the way that I imagine. You and I have been trained to coach or understand coaching to be. It really kind of like murkies the water a little bit and dilutes the experience, 2s that all said. 2s It's about clarity for me. It's about a person wanting to achieve clarity in themselves, particularly their leadership identities. It's about them wanting to achieve clarity with a vision. A large part of leadership is you being able to design a vision and then being able to map the steps toward the end of that goal. And if you're having this cloudiness in your path, that's where step in. That's where the practice of coaching is really beneficial towards leaders. And so often the leaders that. 2s Work with me. They come to the space already with some sort of self awareness. 1s They're aware enough that they know that they need somebody to help them untangle that ball of yarn. And in many ways, coaching can help you do that. 

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 9:08 

 That's really good. I know sometimes in leadership, you want to, in a sense, have that security that you know what it is that you have been hired to do. So is coaching something that's confidential? Or would they have to worry about other people finding out that they hired a coach? 

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 9:29 

 Yeah. 2s It's interesting because one of the agreements that I established is that this is a sacred space, and I'm going to treat it as such. Right. The only information that gets shared is what you, as the client, want to be shared. And so, yes, it is a space of confidence. What I find as a product or a result of the coaching experience somewhere along, like, the middle part of the coaching cycle or the latter part of it, when the agreement or sorry rather than the engagement might be. Coming to a close is that people are super proud of the fact that they went ahead and engaged in the coaching practice, and they're like, oh, my God, this is so incredibly beneficial. And they start recommending it to other people. They've become so proud of the fact that they engage in coaching. It's actually like a badge of honor. Right. And now they make the recommendation to other people. Thank you. 1s Beneficial it was to them and how much it advanced their practice, which to me, is one of the greatest affirmations that we've done the right thing. Yeah, 

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 10:32 

 that's really good, because I know in my industry, sometimes when you seek assistance, especially in doing what it is that you are managing, it almost appears as a weakness. But I feel like it's actually a strength to be able to say, hey, I feel like I can improve in these areas, so let me partner with someone in order to assist. So would you say the 1s coach relationship, is that like a partnership or what does that look like? 

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 11:02 

 Yeah, I'll get to that question in just one moment. What I've told my clients, and what I'll share with you, is that it takes a courageous vulnerability to acknowledge that. You need coaching to acknowledge that you need, first of all, period, you need support, period, to acknowledge that, whether it be coaching, therapy, mentorship, help. Right. It takes really to acknowledge that. And so often I begin the agreement or begin the engagement by offering them that affirmation. Like, you've taken an incredible step to really advance in your career, and I want to let you know, like, it's going to be difficult, and you've done right by yourself by wanting to engage in the process. 1s Despite the difficulty, at the end of the road, you're going to be so incredibly clearer and just grateful to yourself for wanting to engage in the process. 2s But your question, tell me again what it was I was 

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 12:02 

 basically asking. Is it a partnership or what does that look 

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 12:06 

 like? Right. 2s Yeah, I think a partnership is a good way to describe it because it's co, constructive. Right. It's collaborative. And when I think about those two words, I think that, yeah, that's what partners do. They support each other. Right. And partners should be really clear about what roles they play in each other's lives. And at the beginning of the engagement, I let my clients know really clearly what role it is that I will play for them. And that means I'm a coach, right? I'm not a mentor. I'm not giving you advice. I'm not your therapist. I am not your manager supervisor. I'm your coach. And along that continuum, each of those titles brings with it very different responsibilities. And so part of the part partnership is to be really clear about what stake we each have in this relationship. And so that's my part is naming for them that I'm their coach and laying ways in which I can help them. And part of their work is to, as we talked about earlier, be prepared with topics to bring to the coaching session for us to impact and. It? 

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 13:23 

 Yes. So for your coaching engagement packages, do they have the opportunity to work with you? Is it a short period of time or a long period of time, or is that something that can be individualized? 

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 13:38 

 I normally tell my clients, well, they have options. They have three, six, or a nine month engagement, and we meet for biweekly on a bi weekly cycle. And the three month engagement is typically for clients who are a little bit hesitant about the practice, but I want them to experience it, but in a way that feels like low risk. I know I'm not committed to this for the long term. Three months feels just right enough that I can get out, not feel like, bad about the money I spent. But normally what happens is after those three months, they're like, this experience has been so transformative. I want to continue working with you. Sign me up. Right. And now we engage in the option for six months or nine month options after that. 

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 14:30 

 That's really good for them to be able to have options to say, okay, I did three months, but now I feel like I need a little more time. So that's good that you're flexible in that way. And so after they go through your program, do you offer, like, follow up or they just graduate and that's it? 

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 14:51 

 Well, I let them know that if they want to continue, you know, speaking with me beyond, like, the close of our engagement, then I am available for that. That does come at a more of a premium, I try to what's the word? Disincentivize. 1s You know what I mean? Make that the thing that they want to do. So the premium on the hourly consultation does increase, as opposed to them just signing up for what could be longer, more sustained. Three month engagement, six month engagement, so on and so forth. 

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 15:29 

 That is really good. And so I guess I would say. 

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 15:35 

 If 

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 someone is 

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 15:36 

 just 3s sometimes what I've noticed is, for instance, sometimes you may go through a coaching session and then you get to another pivotal moment in your career and you may have to come back. 

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 15:53 

 And so that's also something that they may have to consider with you. Because I know for my 

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 15:59 

 self, 1s I have been in leadership for a while, but then I switched to another area of HR and I was just lost, literally lost. And what I noticed was when I reached out to other leaders that had been in that area for a while, 

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 16:17 

 they were so used to doing things wrong to where they really couldn't mentor me because everything that they were trying to teach me was from this is how we've done it. And so a lot of the times people think that they may need coach just one time, but essentially each time that you reach a new monument in your career, then you would probably need to get a coach. So for the people that think it's a one time thing, what advice would you be able to give them regarding that? 

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 16:51 

 It's a question that I ask them, and it's 1s like, how seriously, how serious are you about your career? How serious are you about 2s longevity in your career and or growth in your career? That's the question that I ask them. And their responsibility after that is, like, to be honest with themselves. And if they can say, like, I'm really serious about my career, I can see myself growing in this position. I can see myself advancing to higher levels, then that's when I let them know that coaching is likely going to be the path for you. Right. It's going to be one of the interventions or one of the supports available to you to help push you further along in your development and to your point, you reach new levels. And even within the same company, the players might be the same, but the game is different. 1s And because the game is different, there's a whole new set of rules that you are unfamiliar with. You might know some, but you don't know all. And in those moments of confusion, the coach can help you gain clarity. And that's what I share with them and put the ball back in their court. It's their decision. I never want to force anybody into potion because they're going to be really. 3s They're going to be less inclined to want to engage and engage in ways that are truly earnest and open. So I don't ever try to force people into coaching. 

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 18:19 

 Yeah, that's good. Because when you enter into an engagement with coaching, you are actually, as a client, the responsibility is all on you. So when they approach a coaching session, the coach is not going to give them any type ideas or guide them or lead them into making decisions. So for those that have never been in a coaching session, can you kind of explain to them what the role of the coach 

 U2 

 18:47 

 is? 1s Yeah, and 1s there are some standards around this. ICF has standards around what coaching is. Variety. Coaching programs have standards. Um, 1s what I'm going to say is that you can essentially make it what you want it to be, or you can design the role for yourself. 1s That comes with some autonomy, but also some danger because you end up like. 2s Leading into the waters, like tutoring or not tutoring, but like, therapy, mentor, et cetera. But when I think about myself as a coach client asks me, what do you do? 1s I really tell them that I help them to gain clarity around their role, their approach to the role. I help them to advance their practice, their performance, and those are the people that they're managing. And if those things sound like they can be beneficial to you, then this might be the right fit for you. And when they ask me specifically about, like, well, what's the work that we actually do? I tell them, I ask you questions that other people are either afraid to ask or don't have the time to ask. And that's the role that I play for you. 

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 20:11 

 That's really good, because I think sometimes when you hear the word coach, I think people show up and expect the coach to just give them 

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 20:19 

 this plan that they haven't really invested in or collaborated in creating. So that's good that you laid it out and let them know that no, the earnest on you to get out of the coaching session, what you bring to the coaching session. So I think that's really good. And also, you coach junior and junior to senior level executives. So what 

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 20:42 

 experience do you bring in that arena to let them know that, hey, I'm not just a person that's coaching at a level that I've never held? 

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 20:51 

 Yeah, totally. So. 3s I have had the fortune of being a leader of new schools. Not just being a leader, but being the founder of a school. I've had the fortune of being the founder of a nonprofit here in Boston. I've also had the opportunities to direct programs like I am now for nationally recognized or nationally recognized organizations. And so all of those experiences, the sum total of them, have given me 2s clean and clear insights into the demands that hit the spectrum from junior to senior level executives. And because I've had those experiences, because I've gone that road ahead of them, I can speak to the issues that they may be experiencing. Now, everybody's situation is quite unique, 1s but because I have some familiarity there, I'm able to speak about it in a way that shows, like, proximity to the problem, but also that demonstrates empathy for the problem that they are experiencing. 

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 22:05 

 And that's really good. And I also know in the industry of education, burnout seems to be one of the top complaints. And so although burnout is essentially considered a problem, what if a person is burned out, but they don't feel like that's something that coaching could help them 

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 22:25 

 with? 4s I would ask them if why are you burnt out? And they would offer me a myriad of reasons. And then I would ask them, which of those reasons feels the heaviest to you? Which of those reasons feels 1s like it's probably most within your control to solve? And then I would take them on the coaching journey. We get to the source of that challenge, we get to the root of that problem. The conversation would help them to realize that they have the solution and the power inside them to solve that challenge. And it's about those micro wins. Those micro wins help you gain momentum so that you can then achieve those macro wins. And the coaching conversation will eventually equip them and tool them with those skills, like navigate those situations. And it's my thought and also my belief, and what I know to be true, is that they begin to feel more empowered. Coaching is about helping people recognize power that is within them. So it's really empowering. And often when people feel burnt out, it's not just fatigue. Fatigue is the symptom of something greater. And often it is the fact that people feel powerless. 1s That is 

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 23:42 

 so good, because I know a lot of the times when people say they're burned out, it's almost like it's so broad. But the fact that you said you would get them to really talk about it so that they can identify things that they can change to help them be better in their position, that's awesome. That is so awesome because I know it's probably some people that's listening and like, well, I'm burned out, so I can't be helped not realizing. No, you can be helped because a lot of the times that's just a symptom of other things that's going on that you probably have neglected or placed on the back burner are not really paying attention to, that you can definitely change to be able to get back into a place to where you're healthy and you're thriving in your leadership. So I'm glad that you brought that up. I'm glad that you asked that question, 

 U2 

 24:30 

 Dr. Brooks. And I also think about what you just said. Like, they put it on the back burner because they're doing so many different things. They're probably so busy, and they probably don't have systems to help organize their work or to help prioritize the highest leverage action. And that's where coaching comes into play. We can really help them to prioritize, really help to give them the systems to figure out how I can better manage my energy, I can better redistribute my time, I can better redistribute my focus, all of those things. And they'll find that once they're able to apply those strategies, small doses, high doses. 1s That burnout feeling starts to cool down a little, turn on the flame a little bit. That is 

 U1 

 25:15 

 so good. So if someone wanted to contact you, how would they reach out to 

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 25:19 

 you? Yeah, for sure. Well, you can reach me at Jabari. That's my first name, jabari@temboleaders.com.  Jabari@temboleaders.com. 4s And then I will make sure that I link his information on my website. Because I think a lot of the times when people get to the level of being an executive, they're kind of overlooked, because most people feel like they made it, when essentially those are the ones that you really need to nurture and really need to push to make sure that they sustain that level of success or at least excel. So I'm so glad that you are focusing on executives, because I know in my organization, 2s they're not looked for professional development opportunities. They're not sought after for any type of team building engagement exercises. And so a lot of the times, they really find themselves isolated and they find themselves stagnant, especially 

 U1 

 26:31 

 with their development of new leadership skills, because, like I said, they're not sought after when it comes to development and professional development. And I'm not sure why, because you would think that you would want to take care of your executives, being that they make the greater impact, especially when it comes to your policies, your planning, and things of that nature. So, again, thank you for looking after this group that is sometimes neglected within organizations. 

 U2 

 26:58 

 Yeah, totally. And I appreciate you even assigning language to that. You give me some things to think about, too. Looking after. I love that. Right? Like, who's looking after them? I really love that. Who's caring for them? 2s Who is caring for them? And I put it to like this. Like when I was in that C suite position, 1s like. 2s Not getting the development I needed. Really disadvantaged. Not just me, but my organization. I didn't operate with the clarity that I needed to lead them in the way that they needed to be led right. And that lack of clarity at my level led to utter confusion and in some moments, chaos right at the levels beneath me. And so that's why it's so important that I tap into this particular group. I have an affinity for this group because I've been there. I know how painful, how lonely that can feel when you're just expected to fly. Even with your broken wings, you're expected to fly. And people don't really take the time to think about executive level leaders, so I'm happy that I get a chance to support a group of people that I care deeply about. 

 U1 

 28:10 

 Yeah, that is really good, because basically what your program can do for an executive is help them to be proactive instead of reactive. Because basically, even if you don't have what you consider a problem at work, you can still get with a coach to be able to identify maybe how you react to things or maybe how you are able to better communicate from bottom down to down, up. Whatever the case is, a coach can help you essentially just be a better 

 U2 

 28:41 

 leader. Yeah. Completely agree. When I was my best version of leadership self, when I was my best version of self, it's when I had a coach in my corner, 1s really helping to give me the guidance, really helping to give me the affirmations, really help me to gain the clarity that I needed to excel. And so, because I know how great that feeling is, I want to be able to scale and replicate that. 

 U1 

 29:08 

 That is really good. And I'm just so glad that you joined us today because you have a compassion and an empathy for leaders, and I can just tell by your responses and tell that you're genuinely there to serve them. So if you can leave the audience with one final thought, what would you leave them 

 U2 

 29:27 

 with? 1s Oh, wow. I should have prepared for that question. That's a deep one final thought. 2s If I'm speaking to my leaders and anybody can benefit from this, is 2s when you're on a plane, the stewardess tells you flight attendant tells you, the flight crew says, please place your mask on before you place others masks on. If you are in a situation that demands that, and hopefully nobody ever is, but the message behind that is you got to make sure that you're whole and you're good before you can make sure other people are whole and good. I can't pour from an empty cup, and so it's important that I fill my cup 1s with fresh spring water, right? And that's what coaching really allows us to do, help you to fill your cup so that you can nourish, nurture other people, right? So that you can quench the thirst of other people, so that you can water the soil, other spaces that you grow. I would say put your mask on first. Make sure that your cup is full. 

 U1 

 30:36 

 I am so glad that you said that you can't pour from an empty cup. Essentially, I remember when I first got into leadership, I was so focused on grooming those around me. I was so focused on making sure that they would get to the next level that I neglected myself. And so 1s hindsight looking back, I just remember I was in a space to where I 

 U2 

 30:59 

 had 

 U1 

 31:01 

 essentially compassion fatigue. I felt 

 U2 

 31:04 

 like, listen, 

 U1 

 31:05 

 I've given what about me when essentially I caused that on myself because I was so focused on pouring that I didn't realize that I needed to get replenished. I needed to get refueled, recalibrated and all of that good stuff. So I am so glad that you shared that because that is so important to make sure that as a leader you really take time to make sure that you're refueling yourself because you just can't be expected to just pour poor, poor. And we got to give people permission to do that. It is okay to take care of self so that you can take care of others. It is okay to do that. 2s That is so good. Listen, as a leader, coaching, booking a coaching session is like booking that vacation that you never want to take because you feel like the office is going to break down or something. No, it is important to take vacations. It is important to get coaching. I am so glad that you joined me, Jabari. You have been such a pleasure. 

 U2 

 32:11 

 Thank you very much for having me share this space and this time with you. It's really been a benefit to me because the questions you asked helped me to gain clarity and I think that's a testament to your expertise as a coach as well. So I appreciate you mad love. Thank you. 

 U1 

 32:27 

 And do you have any events or anything coming up that they can look out for? 

 U2 

 32:32 

 No, nothing on the calendar right now, though. Maybe I should get something going for this new quarter, but no, nothing on the calendar right now. But if folks are interested in connecting with me, I shared my email address and yeah, we can start the conversation. 

 U1 

 32:47 

 Okay, well, you heard it there, guys. So basically I will have his information on my website, brooksdimming.com, and so that way you would be able to contact him for any of your coaching needs. Again, it's just a conversation to see if you guys are fit for one another. If you are hesitant, I assure you just reach out to him. He is such a genuine person and he truly cares about leaders. So make sure you guys contact him. And until next time, stay tuned for more 

 U2 

 33:15 

 episodes. 

 U1 

 33:21 

 This concludes today's episode. Thank you for tuning in. I hope the information presented adds value to your life. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube at brooksdemming. The sponsor of today's episode was quoted by J. Christine, a Christian clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday, fashionable, conscious woman. To learn more about today's guests, visit brooksdimming.com. Until next time, be resilient 

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 33:52 

 the thanks for joining. Please rate this episode and share this podcast with your family and friends. To learn more about your host, visit www.brooksdenning.com.