The Power of Faith: Surrendering to Christ's Plan

This episode is about living a life fully surrendered. Dr. Tamika takes listeners on a journey through the years of submitting all areas of her life to Christ. Dr. Tamika discusses marriage, parenting, and her latest book "Coffee with Christ." Dr. Tamika Brown is a coach, entrepreneur, author, wife, and mother. She inspires others to be the best version of themselves. 

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Transcript

Dr. Tamika

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 You. Welcome to the off Balance podcast, where faith, 

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 family, and business 

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 collide with your host, Dr. Brooks Deming, christian life coach, intercessor, 

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 and entrepreneur. 11s Hello, 

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 everyone. I'm Dr. Brooks. Welcome to off balance, a podcast for adults trying to balance life. Thank you for tuning in each week to learn strategies to help you be the better version of yourself. The sponsor of today's episode is clothed by J Christine, a Christian based clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday, fashionable, conscious woman. 1s Welcome to the show, Dr. Tamika 

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 0:49 

 Brown. Thank you, Dr. Brooks, for having me. It is an honor to be on your podcast today. 

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 0:57 

 So just so my listeners can know, who is Dr. 

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 1:00 

 Brown? Dr. Tabika Brown is a wife. I've been married for almost 28 years, a mother of three, two boys and one girl that's getting ready to graduate. I am an entrepreneur. I am an HR. Specialist. I'm a mentor. I could be a mother. I could be a friend. There's so many different hats that we weigh as women, so it's so many different hats when you're talking about Dr. Tamika Brown. 

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 1:29 

 That is a lot. And it sounds like that you have a lot going on. So what keeps you grounded to ensure that you don't 

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 1:37 

 burn out? It's definitely now my walk with Christ. I'm not going to take none of the credit, really spending time with Him, really allowing him to order my step, truly understanding that he has a plan and purpose for my life, and it's his plan and his purpose. So I have to make sure I stay connected and grounded in the Word and also in prayer. So the one thing that definitely keep me grounded is my relationship with God. 

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 2:02 

 So for those that are listening and they don't have that type of relationship with God, what would be some things that you suggest that they can do? 

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 2:13 

 From one of my closest friends, always say, take time for yourself. My time now also includes taking nap, something that I thought I'd never do. I really believe that's important because it forces you to relax, it forces you to let go of stuff. And so that's the second thing I do. And also, if you don't have a relationship with Christ, if you have close friends, someone that you can talk to, someone that you can go out with, lunch, make it a monthly thing, and really spending time with yourself as well, because while you spending time with yourself, you begin to discover more about yourself. You just start discovering things that you may not have achieved, that you wanted to achieve. And it gives you time to do self reflection. 

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 2:58 

 Yes. Self reflection is very important. What do you say for people that feel like that if they put themselves first that they're being selfish? 

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 3:11 

 I think we as mothers, a lot of us go through that, I think because as mothers and wife, because especially if you're married to the military, because by nature you come second, everything revolves around the military. So you kind of feel like everything about you is on hold and then you throw kids on top of that. Everything then revolves around the kids. But what I found out is, even through myself, when the kids start growing up and their life no longer is so dependent upon you, they're finding their own self, then you're left out in the dark, you left out in the colon. You're trying to figure out who you are outside of being a mother and a wife. So the self reflection part is very important to me and truly understanding who you are and realize it's not selfish. We give up so much of our lives. We give up so much to accommodate other and it's okay to step back and say, no, I'm going to do something for me. No, I'm not going to do that today. Unfortunately, I might not make it to every game or every recital, whatever you have your children in and then being comfortable with that and understanding that when they're gone, you have to know who you are because their life is no longer revolve around you as a mother. 

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 4:21 

 You mentioned military. So you were a military spouse. How did you manage to get all the way to a doctor degree? Like, how was you able to do that? 

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 4:34 

 Well, if I'm going to be transparent, education was far off my radar. 1s In my younger age, I've always wanted to be a lawyer, but I kind of lost myself when I became a parent at the age 19, had my first child, and then the military was the best option for me at that time. And then after having my first son, about four years later, I had my second son, and then we were off to Germany. So unfortunately, the education came to me at a very crucial time in my life. It was at a time that me and my husband was on the verge of separating and on that verge of separation, I realized I didn't have nothing to fall back on. So I was going to be dependent on either getting alimony or child support. And that was a driving force that made me open my eyes and say, I don't ever want to be self dependent on anyone, even though I know he would have provided for me and his kids. But it's just a simple fact. I had nothing to fall on but my experience in the military, which was very limited because I did not retire and not having an education. So it was already hard being married as a military wife and dependent upon 1s your soldier, the soldier to take care of the family. But now you're taking that away and you have nothing. But I'm not going to even say a career, a job. You have a job and. So 

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 6:00 

 what would you say for women? Because I know we are taught that if you plan, then that means that you have in the back of your mind that you want to leave. So what advice can you give for women to have an identity outside of their marriage and not feel bad 

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 6:17 

 about it? 2s Hopefully 2s I'm going to give my husband credit because even though we have worked through some things, I've always had a cheering partner, even though our lives kind of went separate ways when it comes to certain things and certain things that we believe in. But I've always had a partner that always cheered me on, that never was selfish when it came to me pursuing anything when it came to my career. He was actually more patient and he saw more value in myself when it came to that because anything that he knew that I put my mind to it, I was going to be able to accomplish. So for me is you really have to find out who you are. And I think that's I'm seeing so much of women that are lost, so many women that are discovering who they are at the age 40 and 50. And sometimes that comes with them being emotional. They have an emotional thing, they have a mental breakdown. 1s You can see where they lack the self confidence. You can see that they're trying to break out, but they don't know how to break out because they've been so much of just a mother and a spouse. And so my thing is it's truly find out who you are and it's never too late to pursue anything that you have because at one point we all wanted to be something and sometime life happened, whether that's by the way of marriage or having kids, that we sacrifice that. But that doesn't mean that dream or that vision or what you want to be should die. When you sacrifice, that means you just had to put it on the back burner. And now you can revisit those things as the kids become older, as the kids are not as much self dependent on you. So it's important that even though it hadn't happened manifest, and I'm not talking about in a spiritual way in your life right now, that it's never too late to still pursue it. 1s Yeah, that is 

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 8:10 

 very good. And then you also mentioned that when the kids grow up, you have to try to figure out who you are. So how did you handle your children, being children that depended on you to transitioning to adults? Like, how did you handle that relationship change? Because now you kind of go from mother to almost like mentor or coach. So how did you handle that? 

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 8:37 

 Well, for me, this is coming from all my children. I have always been an open mother. There was nothing we could not talk about. I was very articulate when it comes to things that most parents probably don't feel comfortable with talking about. Open when it came to sex, opening when it came to making decisions. So I've always had this dialogue with my children that we had a very open conversation. So even though they were dependent upon me, they still were finding themselves because there was nothing they could not talk to me about. And that was very important to me. Growing up in the generation we grew up in, you know, there were certain things you didn't ask or whatever your parents say that was in stone. And I did not want that for my kids. I wanted my kids to have freedom. Freedom to use their voice, freedom to realize it's okay to express your feelings, but doing in a respectful manner. It was still kind of hard because my life became about my kids, because with their father constantly being deployed, we had a closeness, but it can also be smothering, because I was able to let one blossom and go, because I knew him, I knew he was confidence. I knew that nothing was going to distract him. And I had another one that was following the way of the world. So he wanted to do what he wanted to do. He wanted the freedom. He wanted to live. So it was more harder for me with my second son than it was with my first son, because my first son always had a drive, and nothing was going to tear him, nothing was going to get in his way. Nothing was going to cause him to get off track. My youngest one, it was harder for me, and it took a lot of bumping bruises. It took a hard time in our relationship, even where we were not talking, but it had to happen that way, because now where the relationship is, it was me truly letting go and still being a mother, but not even giving my advice, always trying to put God back at the center. Did you pray about it, or what did God say? And then forming my opinion after they tell me, yes, I did pray. Well, how do you feel about it? And just telling them, I'm not saying you have to do it this way, but just hear me out. 

 U1 

 10:39 

 That's really good, because I know sometimes trying to parent adult children can be difficult. So when you went through that time with your son, did you use your faith to keep you grounded? Because you mentioned earlier that you have a really good prayer life. Was that something that kept you 

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 10:57 

 going? Yes, it did. My first son, let me tell you, God would give you children, and certain children, you see potentials. You know what they're capable of doing. And it's not that you don't see it in the other kids, you know, your children, you know, okay, this one's going to thrive at this one. My prayer life with my second son, it actually enhanced because he was doing things of the world. He lived like I lived. He wanted to have fun. He didn't care about no responsibility. I just want to live my life, and I want to live it the way I want to. And because of that, that forced me even more to be on my face, because that's the mother prayer of protection for no harm to come against her child. But I'm not going to say that it came easy. It just we had went through a rough patch in our relationship as a mother and a child. That caused me to constantly stay on my face with that one. Not saying I didn't pay prey for my other kids. It was just he was heading down a wrong path. Wrong direction. And then I was questioning as a mother because of the relationship we had, because of the openness, like, where did I go wrong? Okay, this one took this path, but this one is taking this other path. And me questioning even as a parent, did I do something wrong? Okay, why is this happening with him? And trying to find out who I was. And I was even on myself, getting down on myself, even causing problem with me. And my husband, 1s my husband was trying to show me one thing about him becoming a young man and me trying to still be a mother and still trying to pamper him and still trying to guide him and still trying to order his stuff. And my husband was like, you just got to let him go. And that was hard. That was truly hard. And I always like to tell people the hardest thing as a mother, especially us who walk away, Christ always say we have a custody battle with our children, with God. 1s God has blessed us to be the parents of these children. And at a certain age, the Bible, we are supposed to give them back to God. But it's so hard to give your child back to God. So it's like a custody battle. God is telling you to trust me. I know what's best for your child. I am Alpha and Omega. And you're trying to trust him, but then you're coming in and saying, but I had him, I was there for him. And you're forgetting that God was there with you too as well, that God predestined a plan for your child even before they were conceiving my womb. So that was the hardest part. And I like to call that a custody battle with God. That is 

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 13:25 

 actually really good because when you were explaining that, I can think back of times in my parenting to where I wanted complete control and I had to remember that my daughter is a gift. So I can only imagine if she didn't live with me and how I would feel not being able to control that, not being able to ensure that she's safe. So I can truly understand how it could be difficult to want to kind of barter with God when it comes to taking your hand off of certain areas of parent team. So I do appreciate you for sharing that. So you have a project that you just released. Can you tell the listening audience about your project? 

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 14:14 

 I just released a 15 day daily devotion called Coffee with Christ. It was birthed through COVID, when everything was shut down. And everyone I think that was a time that many of us did not know what was going on, but we kind of knew because some of the things that were happening, most of us that been walking with God for a long period of time, we saw the signs of time. So to me, it forced me back into a relationship and not religion with God. And so every morning I was in deep study for two and a half years, just getting up around 04:00, sometime even 05:00 in the morning. And I would come into my office and I would shut the door and I would bring me a cup of coffee and I would just study the Bible and study the Bible. And I was learning God for myself, not forming a pen about God based on religion and tradition and what I was taught. I was forming my own relationship with God. And one particular morning, it came clear, coffee with Christ. And normally I don't write nothing down. I just hear it like the Holy Spirit just told me, write it down and it kind of stick with me. I wouldn't let it go. But I did not know what was the next step. I did not know exactly what he wanted me to do. I knew he wanted me to do something with it, but I did not know exactly. And then due time, he start revealing, I want you to do a 15 day daily devotion. And I kind of went back and forth, because you normally see 30 days. And I kept saying 15 days, 15 days. Why 15 days? But then I truly understand the time that we in. And even after having discussion with my husband, a lot of people really don't like to read no more. A lot of people. So it's hard for people to even and this is bad to say, because I've talked to a lot of believers that are having a hard time studying the word of God, getting in the Bible. And so my husband, who do not like to read, to hear him say it, draw him in, because it was not overbearing, was not too much. He actually enjoyed reading that. It made it very clear to me that God was doing something different. He wanted to draw people in, but he didn't want them to feel the pressure. He wanted them to realize just simple things. Because we make being a believer so hard. We come with so many rules and you got to do this. And so people say, I don't want no part of that. It's too much. And so God was doing it in a general way, in a soft way, just do something and kind of write it like he was writing to a high school student. So even if a high school student or a child pick it up. It's easy for them to read and follow it. 

 U1 

 16:45 

 That is really good. So you said it's a 15 day devotional. What can readers expect? Like, say, for instance, if someone is hesitant, I don't want nothing to do with this church thing. I don't want nothing to do with it. They always want to control you. What would you say to them that makes coffee with Christ different? 

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 17:06 

 Because most of the United States drink coffee and drink they drank some type of coffee, whether it's frappuccino cappuccino coffee with ice. So when you look at the percentage of people that drink coffee, I think it would make it easier for them, because that would be the first thing that would draw them in. It's the coffee and the way the book was drawn with the hands and the coffee at the table, and it makes it seem like it's relaxing. It's inviting you in that there's no pressure here. Just come on in, just grab a cup of coffee and just spend a little time with God. And not even really letting them think that it's really with God. It's just saying, let me just see what this book is about. Let me see exactly what is being said in this book. So I know it was the Holy Spirit that with the coffee, with Christ, because it is inviting. Most people I talk to drink coffee. I love coffee. I drink about two or three every day already. 3s Yes, 

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 18:04 

 it's very inviting. And what I like about it is 2s you didn't pressure the readers. You really just allow Holy Spirit to guide and lead you, and that is evident with each and every day. And so that is a really good thing, because you have some people that may not have the knowledge of God or some people that may not have a prayer life. And so I really like how you took your time and you can really tell that you put a lot of effort and thought into the process. So when you were writing this devotional, what was your process like? 

 U2 

 18:44 

 It was kind of easy, because I think about what is the first thing you want to do when you're talking about coffee with Christ? And I didn't want to put pressure on people because most people, the traditional way is, oh, you got to get up and you got to pray, and it's okay that as soon as you get out of your bed, it could be something as simple. That's why I start off with, Good morning, God. It don't have to be intense. It don't have to be, oh, I got to be praying for five or ten minutes. It's just acknowledging Him, inviting Him into your day, and even just saying Good morning. And then as you brewing that coffee for me, sometimes I have a window in my kitchen, and I'm looking outside and I'm seeing the trees, and I'm seeing my backyard, and I'm drinking the coffee, and I just sometimes just sit there. And I reminisce about some things that I've been through in my life and how he has gotten me through those things and how he has kept me for this long. And I think about my children and saying, God, thank you. 1s I'm able to see them find their own way as an adult, as one being getting ready to be 31 this year and the other one's getting ready to be 26 and seeing the man that they have become and also seeing them also discovering their relationship with God. And that blessed me more than anything to have two young men, African American men. So I'm going to be real that I thought I did what was right, keeping them in the church. And even though when I was astray, I never took God out. I've always pushed the power of prayer, talked about God, make sure they understood who he was. And I also make sure that we're not talking about God. We're talking about Jesus, the one who died on the cross for your sin, because there's many Gods, but there's only one Jesus. There's only one way you can get to heaven. And so I made that. I was very intentional about that with my boys. And so to hear them talk about God, to see them, even to saying how they love to spend time with God, to see how they pray, and we having these conversation that most people don't have with young black men. That was very important to me. 

 U1 

 20:44 

 That's good. So what would you say to a person that feel like, yeah, she's talking a good game, but I'm not worthy, I messed up, I've done so much. And the guy that she's talking about, he wouldn't love me. What would you say for that person? 

 U2 

 21:01 

 Oh, I would say that's not so. Because I always say in order for you to help someone else heal and realize they are worthy, even with the mistakes they call mistakes. I call them as learning lesson. I call them as God having his hand and not saying that he liked everything that we do, but he still can get a blessed and he can still get glory out of that. I became pregnant at 14 years old and had an abortion at 14 years old. At 19, I had my second child after aborting one and that's five years later and was in a very abusive relationship. I turned my back on my mother because I thought I was in love. And then after I moved back home, I joined the military. Then I became someone that could consume a lot of alcohol. So drinking became another thing that I kind of attached to because I watched my dad did it. I was exposed to alcohol. I was exposed to my dad being abusive. And then I became an abusive woman toward other women and also toward my husband verbally. And so with that being said, I look over the things that I've did and God was showing me a touch of his love through my husband and I didn't see that. But now that I'm walking with God, because God was showing me, just like your husband is patient with you and he has been patient to allow you to heal and so he can see what I have done in your life, that's how I am with my children. I'm patient. I'm always there, right there with you, no matter what you do. There's nothing that's too shameful for you to hold your head up when you walk with me. Hold your head up high, tell your story, because your story is going to help someone else. So I thank God for my husband. I thank God that he allowed me to experience what it is to see a man that loved his wife the way my husband loved me and a man that loved his children, because I didn't have that. I didn't have a father that loved. And I'm not going to say he did not love me. He did not know how to love because if he knew how to love, then I think we would be a part of his life. And so to have that and see a man that took on another man's child, never called him stepson, raised him like his own, and also to love me lets me see who God is. Because God created my husband. God created him just like he is just for me. 2s That 

 U1 

 23:21 

 is real good. And I am so glad that you shared your testimony about getting pregnant at a young age and even having your second child at a young age and you wasn't married. Because what I noticed is in the religious world that there is used to shame women, is used to make women feel like they're not worthy. They can't be a ministry, but the men get to go forth and do great things in ministry. So what advice can you give a young woman who life didn't start out so great? She maybe had kids out of wedlock. She may have did things and the church, not the church per se, but the people that are in these positions of influence, they're maybe holding that over their head. And that's why it's very important, Dr. Bruce, for a woman to find out who she is, to find out truly who she is. Because if she does not find out who she is outside of people, she allow people to form an opinion about her and that attaches to that person and it's hard for that person to break away. So now not only are they dealing with what they think is shameful, now they have allowed other people voices to attach themselves to them and that's how they define themselves. For me, I was strong with mine because I never cared about what anybody thought about me. Because I realized they're going to form opinion whether I'm this way or not this way. Something's going to be said. I'm not going to be liked by everybody. My voice is not for everybody. Some people may shine upon me, some people may rejoice with me, some people may not be happy to see me get to this point and I realize that. But that doesn't define me because how you feel about me. And it could be people that I've hurt or things that I said because of my own hurt. So the most important thing to me is it's that brokenness. You got to begin to heal that brokenness because if you don't heal that brokenness, you allow other people to define you and then you're defining yourself based on that brokenness. And that's not who you are. It's just some things that happen in your life. So since you brought that up, I'm working on another project because I'm seeing so many women broken and they stuck. It's a cycle. 2s And I'm not saying they're not trying, it's like they don't understand why they keep being in repeated cycles, what's going on. And I think the major problem is because you're broken. And whether you think is I know you have to be mindful on when it's time for you to release, because it's by 

 U2 

 25:55 

 God to tell you when to release. But until you release and when I say release heal, all you're going to do is continue to build a foundation that is broken. 2s That is 

 U1 

 26:07 

 really good. And most of the time, when you hear broken, people think you had to be molested. People think you had to be abused, people think you had to be abandoned. People think all this bad trauma, but they don't realize that something as simple as a breakup, something as simple as losing a job, something as simple as, you know, everyday life can cause a person to be broken. So what would you say for those women that don't feel like that this applies to them because their life have been, in their eyes, perfect? So what would you say about that? 

 U2 

 26:45 

 Because like you said, most people define brokenness as something traumatic happening. I wasn't molested. I had both of my parents. I'd never seen them argue. I'd never seen their fight. But who are you outside of that? What's your identity? And most of the time, when you ask a woman, tell me something about yourself. What's the first thing we do? And I did it even at the beginning of this episode, I'm a wife and I'm a mother. No, okay, that's good. But tell me something about you, because that's how we identify ourselves. We identify ourselves by what God has created us or what God has given us. And so to me, you could be broken because you did what was best for your family and you put your life on hold. And that is a great thing, that you was able to support your spouse, you was able to be at all your kids events, but you lost yourself in the midst of that. And so that could be brokenness. It could be broken, like you say, out of the lose of a job. It could be brokenness as I pursue the career, but I'm not getting paid for what I earn. Prime example, most people think you get a dot degree. Oh, yeah, I'm making the money. No, we don't make the money. So I always tell people, if you think the degree is going to bring money to you, it's not. When you pursue a higher education, you got to make sure you're pursuing it for you. You're not pursuing it for opportunities. And I'm not saying opportunity don't come, but don't let that be the main reason, because when opportunity don't come, that could be a sign of brokenness. That is really good. And so you have so much going on. You are author two times over. You are coaching, you are building ministry. How do 

 U1 

 28:25 

 you keep yourself humble and not get arrogant to think that you're doing it in your own strength? 1s I one thing I have to work on with me, I don't like to take compliments. So when people come and tell me, oh, you did. And it's not that I don't appreciate it for me, because I'm flesh by nature. I've been doing a lot of stuff out of the flesh since I was born. We was born in sin. And so for me, I try to humble myself, or I try to think, don't think me, or I think God, or God order my step. Because people don't think that it can't sneak up. It can't sneak up. You got to remember, we were born to be very competitive. We were born to compete. And so if you think that because you're walking with Christ that things don't rise up, you can start giving your own self accolades because you think you did it by your own power. And that's how we was raised. If you want to be true, it's not until we cross the finish line that we say, oh, thank you, Jesus. Thank you, God. But it's when you stuck or when you're having a hard time with class, you start praying, but you really do think that you're doing it in your own might. And not until you're in a situation that you're trying to cross over and you're trying to complete that degree or when you finish that degree, that you acknowledge Him. So me, I always try to acknowledge God. And one thing I always and I try to make it daily, holy Spirit, allow me to decrease so you can increase. And 

 U2 

 29:52 

 if I find myself even because you may not think you're doing it, but sometimes you could come off boastful, and I try to pay attention to those things, and I try to catch it, because I would not say that that's not going to happen, because I stay on my face and I pray, no, I'm human. It's easy for that to get attached to me. It's easy for me to think that I've done it. I thought that for a long time, until I rededicated my life back to Christ and I started walking with Him. I didn't acknowledge him when I wasn't with Christ. And even though I've been saved and I didn't have a relationship, I didn't acknowledge Him like that. I did it. Oh, this was my power. I did this, or I accomplished this. It wasn't until you truly get intentional with your relationship with Christ that you truly understand everything that you have, everything thing that you do come from Christ. He has ordered your step. He's in front of you. He has made those crooked paths straight. It's not until you walk with Him that you truly understand it. 

 U1 

 30:48 

 So let me get this straight. So you mean that a person that prays a lot, a person that spends a lot of time with Christ, they can have a hard time in life, so life isn't easy for them? 

 U2 

 30:59 

 No, I think life is harder. 1s I always tell people saying yes to salvation is easy. The enemy don't care about you being saved because you being saved. Could be you could still go out and live the same way. It's when you say yes to the assignment and yes, you start building on your relationship with Christ. It seemed like hell broke out in everything. And I would give a prime example with that. I've been walking with Christ for a while. I never say yes to the assignment. I was doing church reading, praying. Church reading, praying. But when I knew the opportunity came that God was saying, this is it for you. I've been running after you. And most of my people call me girl. Yeah, you should have been a track star because I've been running away from Christ for the assignment. And so when I finally decided. 1s To say yes to the assignment. I'm going to tell you how I knew I was serious, because I never talked to my husband about my Godly assignment. Everything that I talked to my husband about was my physical career, my education, or the children. I never told him what I was put on this earth to do and what I know God was calling me to do. So the minute that I stayed yes to the assignment, it the minute I confessed it to my husband, it seemed like everything started to happen. When I say yes, god, I'm ready. I'm going to take this assignment. 

 U1 

 32:28 

 So when everything happened for you, what made you just still pursue? Because sometimes if a person says, I hear this a lot, people will say, well, God, if my life is going to get worse, I'm just going to go back over here. So what made you stay the course? 

 U2 

 32:47 

 Because I'm a fighter. The thing that the enemy used while you in the world is the same thing that God can use in his kingdom by nature. I was a fighter, and I'm talking about physically fighter. I was a fighter. I ain't got time to talk, I ain't got time. All that blah, blah, blah. I was a fighter. I stand my ground. I didn't care who you was. I was raised that way. I was raised around a very violent household with my father, abusing my mother. And so I took on that trait. I took on that characteristic of my father becoming a fighter and also a drinker. And so the same fighter that was in the world, the same fighting that Satan used is the same thing I do now with my Walk with God, okay? If I fight for Satan and I was bringing down people through a role of destruction because I was having them drinking and doing all kind of stuff, I'm going to do the same thing. When it comes to God, I'm a fight different. So he would not allow me because he was telling me that same thing that I gave you. I created you, even though I didn't like some of the things you did, but I created you that way because that was going to be used greatly in my kingdom. 

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 33:57 

 And see, that is so good because a lot of people feel like that when they come into the kingdom, when they accept God and they begin to have a relationship that they have to let go of the toughness, that they can't be strong willed anymore. So that is very good to hear that that same fight, that same tenacity, that same courage and boldness, it can also be used in the Kingdom of God. So I'm so glad that you shared that. You have given the listeners so much good information. If you can leave them with one final thought, what would it be? 

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 34:33 

 The most important thing that I see, I'm seeing right now is so many, especially with the body of Christ, that's struggling with self identity, struggling with mental issue. And I know that's real, truly, truly spending time with yourself and with God. If you're saved, if you're not saved, just truly spending time with yourself, truly finding out who you are, truly understanding. And sometimes I like to call it puzzle pieces. There's different puzzle pieces in our life and some puzzle pieces you may have to throw away and some puzzle pieces you may have to add new pieces to it. And some pieces is okay because it made you who you are. But really looking at your life like a puzzle and there's some good part, there's some bad part, but you need all those pieces to have a complete puzzle piece. So don't think everything has to be thrown away. Don't look at your life as I've made so many mistakes or so many bad things happen to you. Yes, we all have experienced some bad things and God is not there that he's saying, why did he allow that to happen to me? We always have to remember that God give man free choice, free will. So even though some of us experience some bad things, he allowed the people that penetrate those things on us free choice and free will. They decided to do that and he could not interfere with what his plan was originally, was free will. And so we can't look at God for that happening to us. We have to look at the person. But then you have to see the person in a different way because most of the time if you look at abuse and you've been abused, that person may have experienced some type of abuse. But because we never really sit down and talk to that person because they impose their abuse on us, we didn't want to have nothing to do with that. But that normally is a generational thing. Or if your father was an alcoholic and you're dealing with some drinking most of the time your father, your mother was exposed to that. So we have to be a little more compassionate. It and that's something God is teaching me. And try to understand that some of the issues that people are going through 1s also happened to them. The things that they did to you was also things that possibly happened to them. That is 

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 36:41 

 really good. Thank you so much for sharing that. So how can listeners get your book Coffee with Christ? 

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 36:49 

 They can actually purchase coffee with Christ on Amazon and also on Barnes and Noble. 

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 36:56 

 So you guys heard that you can make a purchase of her book. You can go to Amazon, R, Barnes and Noble, and then also if they wanted to follow you on social media. Are you on any of the 

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 37:06 

 platforms? 2s Yes, I'm on Instagram, I'm also on Facebook, I'm also on Twitter, but I don't tweet a lot because it's too much complication. And also hopefully within the next week, I will have my official website launched, but if they have any questions or would like to talk to me, they can email me at Tamika Brown@yahoo.com. Okay, 

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 37:31 

 guys, you heard that. So again, Dr. Tamika Brown, thank you so much for being our guest today. You have been such a pleasure. It was an honor to have you here on the show. Thank you, Dr. Brooks, for having me and it has been an honor. And hopefully my message will bless someone. Just like listening to your other individuals talking, everybody message can bless someone. You are assigned to someone no matter who you are, and that's what people got to remember. You're not signed to everybody, but you are assigned to someone. 1s That is so true, Doctor Tamika. We are definitely assigned to someone, but not everyone. Again, thank you so much for being on the show. You have been a pleasure. This concludes today's episode. Thank you for tuning in. I hope the information presented adds value to your life. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube at brooksdemming. The sponsor of today's episode was quoted by J. Christine, a Christian clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday, fashionable, conscious woman. To learn more about today's guests, visit brooksdimming.com. Until next time, be resilient. 4s Thanks for joining. Please 

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 38:45 

 rate this episode and 

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 38:46 

 share this podcast with your family and friends. 

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 38:50 

 To learn more about your host, visit 

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 www.brooksdemming.com.