Unveiling the Silent Struggles: Womanhood and the Challenges of Childbirth

This episode is about discovering yourself as a woman to reach your full potential.  Xavier shares with listeners her experiences with discovering the woman she is today. She provides insight into the importance of mental health, boundaries, healthy relationships, and more.  Xavier is an incredible author, coach, entrepreneur, and orator. She uses her platform to motivate and encourage women to evolve into the best version of themselves. 

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Transcript

Episode 2 Xavier Bell

 U1 

 0:00 

 You. Welcome to the Off-Balance podcast, where faith, family and business collide with your host, Dr. Brooks Deming, Christian life coach, intercessor and entrepreneur. 11s

 U2 

 Hello,  everyone. I'm Dr. Brooks. Welcome to Off Balance, a podcast for adult trying to balance life. Thank you for tuning in each week to learn strategies to help you be a better version of yourself. The sponsor of today's episode is clothed by J Christine, a Christian based clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday fashionable, conscious woman. Today's guest is an incredible author, coach, entrepreneur and orator. She is the founder of Zille of Xander, a nonprofit organization that focuses on the worldwide black infant mortality and black maternal health pandemic. Please welcome to the show, Ms. Xavier Bell. 

 U1 

 1:11 

 Look, I'm clapping for myself because I'm happy to be here. 

 U2 

 1:15 

 I am excited because you are going to blow the mind of my audience. Can you tell them who is Xavier Bill? 

 U1 

 1:26 

 I think that's a very good question and I think it's a good question, but it's definitely a hard question to answer. And the reason I say that is that Zay today is different from Zay yesterday and it's definitely going to be different from Zay tomorrow. Right? So I will say Zay today is a woman that is exploring what black joy looks like. 2s Is exploring what freedom looks like, is exploring what navigating through an unfamiliar territory and building my expertise in the pivot looks like. So I guess day to day is a learner. And so I'm learning myself and learning what I will tolerate, what I will not tolerate. I'm advocating for myself in the space of my no is yes and amen. It is what it is, is nothing beyond that. 1s It is learning to be unapologetic about the fact that I am a thermostat and not a thermometer. If you do not like your atmosphere being shifted and changed according to what I bring to it, I'm not a person that you need to bring to your house. 2s I think that's who they is today. 1s The 

 U2 

 2:47 

 way in which you just describe yourself was so confident, so bold, how did you get to that space? 

 U1 

 2:57 

 I think navigating through it takes a lot of learning. Right? And so I think navigating to 42 years old and understanding that the permission that you have in life is based on your position. Right. And so what I mean is that not like position to where 3s what place you are in life, but in how you are in your being. So what I recognize is I remember I was telling somebody just the other day, I was having a conversation with a woman and we were talking and we were talking about how I went from it was many years ago, I was making a salary of about $50,000. And I went and I built this program and all this other stuff being a good friend of mine and they dissolved my position after we had built the program, right. Wind up selling the program for millions of dollars, all of that other stuff, right? Wow. And so I was thinking even years ago, my rent was probably still $1,100. I lived in Tampa and I was thinking how am I going to pay this rent when I do not have a job? They gave me a service package, I'm operating through that. And then I was like, I'm going to have to get a couple of jobs to make that happen, right? So I got this job working at night making ten point $50 an hour. And I remember saying to myself I was so just done, right? I'm cleaning out this tub and I'm thinking I am credentialed to run this whole program. I have a master's degree and I'm scrubbing out this tub and I remember very clearly hearing god say to me you hear me better. You're on your knees. 1s Wow. And I was thinking, okay, because at this point the next position is going to be me being on my face. What does that look like? And so what I understand is that my clearance, my high level security clearance in places that I am not qualified to be in is specifically based on the fact that I recognize and respect position. So sometimes my position has to be on my face. Sometimes my position has to be on my knees. Sometimes my position has to be flat footed and unapologetic. So I recognize that the reason that I am the person that I am today is because I understood the lessons in position. Wow, 

 U2 

 5:36 

 that was so good. Understanding the lessons in positions. I am definitely going to make a mental note of that. And you do a lot of public speaking, motivational speaking, to encourage women. Where did that urge or burn come 

 U1 

 5:55 

 from? 1s I think it came from my mom is a very intentional parent. My mother had me in her thirty s. And so I was just going through my life in my was thinking, man, I wish my mama had a friend like me when she was 20 and 30. Right. I wish that my mother had a friend like me that says, listen, you could come down and cook. Let's go ahead and just do this restaurant real quick. And so I wanted to be to every woman what I felt like my mama needed. And of course, my mother had great friends. 1s She's had friendships that lasted for 40, 50 years. But she needed a me to be like, we need to build this, we need to package this, we need to do this. And so what I recognize is that what women. 2s Specifically black women. What our Achilles heel is we stay dedicated to people for far too long past their expiration date. We stay dedicated to people. We are handcuffed to the history of somebody because we grew up with them, we went to school with them, we were solid in high school. And they have added no value to your life at all, just the fact that you have known them for so long. And so what I want to women to understand is that your hold up is in your head count. You can't go to your next place because you got too many people tied to you that bring no value to your life. Your posse is too big. You need to bring it down a bit. And so it was hard for some women to say that for themselves, but it came easy for me to say that to them and they received it. And so I really am a person where I believe that women need solid people in their life to tell them, you are on the right path, don't get tired just yet. Don't tap in on throwing the tower just yet. And women need people in their tribe, in their village, to tell other village members that you out of pocket, 1s you out of pocket. So this is not the time and the place for that. And so I really wanted to be that. 1s I want it to be that for women. Well, what 

 U2 

 8:05 

 do you say to women who believe that there is no value in having relationships with other women? 

 U1 

 8:14 

 I think for them, that is the most heartbreaking place that you can be. And the reason that I say that is because 2s I'm one of those people that everybody wants to be in my circle until they get in my circle. Right. And so you all really want to be friends. 3s Let said, I'm so extra hard on my friends. I'm like, So we going to keep crying about this or what we going to do? At this point, I'm just sick of it. You've been crying about this same man. What are we going to do? Girl, I'm exhausted for you for this situation. 1s But what I also know is that there are some times in my life that I would not have made it out safely if I did not have the companionship of a woman that was stronger than me in that moment. Yes. And so I think that it's important. We also have to really dig deep and determine, why do we feel that way? And most of the time, I operate in the maternal health space, specifically in the birthing space, I'm a birth worker, and so I have helped women navigate through delivering children and so forth. And the one thing that I recognize is that birth brings you closest to your most vulnerable state because you are very open, and you recognize that you become everything that a woman needs in that time. If she needed a grandmother, if she needed a mother, if she needed a sister, if she needed an aunt, if she needed a best friend, that's who you become, and she clings to you that way. And so I think that most of the time, women do not trust women because there has not been a trustworthy woman as an example in their life. So they have to really acknowledge the fact that it's not that I don't trust women. I just didn't trust my mama when she did this to me. Right. And so they have to really peel back the layers of why is it that do not trust women, and are you a trustworthy woman yourself? 2s Are you bringing value 1s or are you a liability to other people? The one thing that I do not condone is women going into situations and leaving bodies, just casualties along the way. I do not condone that. I do not condone women that are dangerous to other women. So we have to really take 1s I always tell people, do a self audit. Clean your own it. What are you doing? What value do you bring? Just because you can wear it doesn't mean that it fits, right? So this may not be a space for you. So you have to really ask yourself, do I have a problem with women? Or am I the common denominator? 

 U2 

 11:06 

 That is so good. And a lot of the times the women are actually oblivious to their role that they play. So when you are coaching, how do you get them to be able to really take a self examination of themselves just to figure out what part they play? 

 U1 

 11:25 

 So I created this new thing. I don't like being a coach for people for a long time. Some people get coaches and they want to be with them for years. I'm like girl. Come on. If we can't get this together in like six months, you can't be help. Okay? Like, what is it that is really the problem, right? Do you have some attachment issues? Let's discuss these days. So I created this thing. Now the day that I am in 2023, I determined that self care for black women 1s looks like maintenance. 1s Right? Okay. And the reason that I say that is because I was scrolling through TikTok, scrolling through my own Facebook, and I kept seeing the hashtag self care. And these people were just like, getting their nails done, getting their feet done, and all these things. And I said, Girl, that is maintenance. Like, you don't want to walk around with your feet looking crusty. Like, you got to keep yourself up, okay? Like you getting your hair done is this you are keeping yourself up. Self care means that you identify who you are as a person. And you feed them. You feed that part of you, right? Because what's happening is that with black women today, because we do not know what self care looks like. We are walking around as vessels that are very empty and we're still trying to pour out of an empty container. Because we are not feeding ourselves, we are not hydrating ourselves with things that are important, like our mental health. Just being experiencing new things in life, being handcuffed to the fact that you believe that there are certain things that you should not do as a woman, that there are some areas of pleasure that you should not experience. 2s And because I have identified that for women, there are two things that I always ask women. What is your biggest desire and what is your biggest fear? Because the only way that you can get to your biggest desire is through your biggest fear. 1s That is good. That is the only way that you can get it. The reason that women are not accomplished is because they are too stuck on being scared. 2s How can you get to the person that you have created in your head and it's a couple of people that you create in your head? Are you the child? Are you stuck in a spot of where you wish that you had permission? Like when we had the be at home when the street light came on? Or like, can we ask can we go stay at our cousin's house? Are you the child that needs that permission to go to the next level in yourself? Or are you the current? Right? The current not being right here as to where I am. Current means like movement, like the current of water. Are you just going with the flow and you just become whoever you become. Where you land? Where you land? Or are you in your dream state? And so what I decided in my life is that one, I was not going to ask for permission to do anything. Because what we have to understand is there are two groups of people, specifically women. One group are the chickens and one group are the eagles. There is no way that you can ask picking what the mountaintop looks like. Their trajectory in flight is about four to 6ft at best. 2s Their position is clucking in the yard. So there is no way that a chicken can give eagle advice. 1s No way. There is no way that an eagle can give chicken advice. Why? Because eagles don't cluck in the yard. They have mileage experience, right? They have experience that is going to devastate the life of a chicken. Because the chicken knows that they were not equipped or built to fly at such elevation. There is a separation when it comes to that. And what women are trying to do is include everybody in a certain group and it does not work that way. So I decided that I was going to stop asking for permission. I was going to stop talking to chickens about what it looked like at the mountaintop. I was going to go and find some eagles. And what that looks like is that sometimes they look younger than me, sometimes they look older than me. And I surely was not going to be in the current. Because the current, when you submit to the flow, you go anywhere, you don't navigate, you just end up where you end up. And that is not always beneficial for you. Not saying that a detour is bad, but saying that when you get so relaxed in letting something else carry you along the way, it becomes very dangerous because you do not create or sustain in your own identity. You become whatever is convenient at the time. So I always wanted to live in a dream. 1s Going 

 U2 

 16:31 

 with the current can be a dangerous place to be in, especially if the person leading is not equipped to lead. You provided so much wisdom here. The one thing that stood out to me was mental health. In the African American and other minority communities, mental health is a touchy subject. A lot of people do not want to admit that they need help and don't want to seek counseling. How do you push past stereotype when you are engaging with women and you recognize the need to be more proactive with their mental health? 

 U1 

 17:02 

 I think that it's important to meet people where they are. And so the most reluctant that we have in the space of mental health is people that are religious but don't have a relationship. 1s The one thing that COVID taught us is that it taught us that going into a church building was a structure, but it also taught us that we needed God, 1s which functioned outside of the building. Yes. And so what happened in the space is that black people started going to people that were not credentialed, that did not have the. 2s The knowledge base to navigate them toward a diagnosis. 1s In communities like the black community, like the Pentecostal community, that's not black, but it's white and Pentecostal that is. In the Caribbean community, we believe that mental health is a spirit that can be prayed away. 1s And so that's the first thing that we have to have to focus on, because being in a place where you recognize that you're not operating in your full capacity, that there are some hiccups that you have, 1s is not sinful. It's vulnerable, that you recognize that I am a person, that I need some guidance and I need some help. And that may look like going to a professional and not to the pastor study do right? It may look like that. So the first thing that I definitely like to do with women is just ask them, who are you? 1s Like, when you ask me who is they, the only way that I could have ever answered that question is because I have been introduced to who I am. 2s Yeah. That's the only way I could do that. And that's the only reason that I am still alive. Outside of when my son died, if I was only Xander's mother, I would not have lived past that. Because in my head, when your child dies, that is where you end as a parent, right? Yes. But what they taught me is that you can mother a legacy as well. So I still very much so parent my son that is on the other side of Heaven, on the other side of this world. I very much so parent him by being an advocate and an activist and by creating things 1s that need to happen, specifically in the space that we're in. But the only way that I could have done that, to be introduced to myself first, how did I do that? I sought after me. 1s Oh, wow. 1s I chased who I was down so viciously that what I knew was I was not going to stop until I met who I was. 1s And I didn't care how long it took. 1s And so we got to start chasing after ourselves like we chase after folks. 

 U2 

 20:13 

 That is so good. You mentioned that your son passed away, and it was during that time is when you birth Zeal Alexander. Can you talk more about that organization? 

 U1 

 20:25 

 Sure. So Zeal of Xander was created 90 days after my hello and goodbye. Right. So I had my son April 25, 2018. I was one of the many statistics that are in this world, and what I wanted to do was show people what it looked like, what the number actually looked like, because people get so caught up on, oh, one in four women lose children. Yeah. One in four women do lose children, but black women are losing children two times to 14 times more likely than white counterparts. That is a problem. My son's death 100% preventable. I was one of those people that I felt like checked all the boxes. They said, stay out of trouble. Don't get a criminal record. Okay, check. Go to school. Get an education. Okay. Check. Okay. A bachelor's degree is not going to be enough. Go get a master's degree. Okay. Check. 2s Don't just be on public assistance. 1s Have a career. Okay. Check. Right. Listen, I'm checking all the boxes. I'm like I'm looking at myself like, girl, you are really doing good, girl. 2s You have really got this thing together. You have done it. Okay? Now everything is everything. 37 years old, telling these people how my body works. As a person that's had this body for 37 years, these are the issues that I'm having. I feel my son in my cervix. I'm spotting. I'm doing this. Everything that I presented to them, they had a very lackadaisical response. It was you're probably just constipated it's. Okay? He's too big, he's too small for you to feel him in his service. Guess what happened? Service was funneling. That's what I was experiencing. Their response to all the things that was going on was, he is measuring small. So we're going to change his due date by ten days. And I was always taught, when you go to people's job, don't tell them how to do it. And for me, 1s you're educated. You are expert in this area. Okay. Xander is going to be born when Xander wants to come. And what wind up happening is that I went into preterm labor, and those ten days cost my son his life because someone changed his due date. On paper, it took those ten days away, which made him eight days shy of being a valuable pregnancy. Oh, wow. And so, ultimately, what happened in that situation is that my family and I had to watch my son die. And I had everybody in the room with me. I called everybody in the room, all the doctors. Not one of them was black. 1s And I wanted each one of them to explain to me why they could not save my son. And I remember my mom looking at me and said, why you got all these white people in your room? Like, why are all these folks in here? And I said, when I come out of this, I want them to be accountable for what they said to me. That was the first thing. The second thing was birthing him. Going through that experience, I wanted to birth him naturally went that experience. And when he was born, I remember a black nurse. Her name was Jackie. She looked at the doctor and said, he's bigger than what we anticipated. Do you want us to call the NICU? And he said, no, 2s right? And I said, okay. Two years later, I ran into him at that same hospital when I was a doula for somebody. And I said, hey, I've been looking for you for two years. You deliver my son here. He said, all right. Okay. How is he? I said, he died here that day. And he was shook. 1s A couple of things that I learned that my crisis is not somebody else's emergency. 2s Oh, wow. That's what I learned. 2s Because 1s his no was what it was. And I have always thought to myself, what if he would have said yes? 2s What would that have looked like? And what it would look like is probably a five year old 1s tearing some stuff up in my house right. If I look like. And what I also learned in that experience was that 2s people are so dedicated to being who they thought they were. 1s What I knew was that I would never be the same after I had him. I knew that would never be the day before that. I knew that. And so I became accepting of change. And what I also became accepting of is that 1s if pain is going to enter my life, then it has to pay me for that. Yes. Right. So there is a I'm going to tax pain. 2s Period. I remember crying in that bed, so and I told God, I'm not going to hurt this bad for no reason. 3s If the plan was made by you, you got to make me line up to what that plan looks like. 1s I need you to direct me where that is, because what I'm not going to do is, I'm not going to stay hurt this bad for no reason. So what is it that I have to do? And when I walked out of the hospital, immediately something happened where this woman was asking me that worked there. Hey, can I have a piece of your cake? Because 2s their Bereavement boxes was a pastry box. And immediately I knew, okay, I got to fix this. I got to change this. There's something that I needed to do. And all of those things were birthed out of everything that was in that box. The book was birthed out of that box. 1s Journals were birthed out of that box. Just changing the face of what bereavement looks like. Just postpartum care was birthed out of that box for women that report home, and they do not have that postpartum support. So everything was birthed out of that box. And so what I will say in that for women, because you never tell a story without having a point. Right? You listen. Don't ever tell a story without having a point. A real good point. So the point in all of that, in the creation of Zillow Xander, is it offends god. 2s Right? It grossly offends God when he gives you a vision and you marinate in it. 2s What, you wait no, you waiting on a parachute to come down like you waiting on all of this other extra stuff. It grossly offends God when you ask Him for something, he gives you the vision. You have dreamed about it. You wrote it in your journal. You trying to keep praying about it for the manifestation of it. And all he's telling you to do is you got to activate it's. Like those glow sticks that we grew up with, right? He gave it to you. Popping and shake it and keep it moving. Let's get it going. So that's what the lesson in there was. You asked me to show you the purpose of your pain. It came in this way, this packaging. What you going to do with it? And what I decided to do with it was run. And that's what I have been doing for five years. You have definitely 

 U2 

 27:43 

 been running in that space. So when you activate it and you began to advocate, did you notice that there were disparities in healthcare when it came to African American women and labor and delivery? 

 U1 

 27:59 

 Yeah, hands down. And what I noticed was the fact that women with higher education were oblivious to it. 1s Oblivious to it. 1s That wasn't stuff that we thought about. I remember walking it. I was so cute. Honey, I had my La purse. I was walking my little pocketbook. I had my face beat up. I'm like, I'm really looking cute today. Because let me tell you something. The day before, honey, it was a struggle. I was probably looking like, 1s so feel when she walked through the cornfield. Baby, I was beat down. Listen, I was beat down the day before, but I had dragged myself up and I got myself together, and I was real cute. And I walked in and the lady said, hey. I was like, hey, I'm here for my appointment. She said, oh, you're using Medicaid. 1s So I looked around 1s and I said, 1s what do you mean? She's like, you're using Medicaid today? I said, let me ask you a quick question. What is it about me that makes you believe that I'm using Medicaid? And she's like, oh, no, I was just asking. I said, I think the proper way to do that is what is your insurance? Like, what type of insurance? I'm using blue cross and blue Fields. You guys love it. It's from my gainful employment that you use it, right? 1s So 1s just going through and thinking about things like, I was telling my best friend that every year something else comes back to my memory about that whole time. And so just being able to navigate through that, looking at the fact that every black woman that comes in is automatically assumed to be someone that is not affluent, someone that is not educated, so they want to talk to you crazy. So that's always the first thing. The second thing is, we really have to you and I have a commonality of growing up in Alabama. And so Alabama was the birthplace of what supposedly modern gynecology looked like because they celebrate J. Marion Sims and how he really devastated the physical being and the reproductive system of women, how he did surgery without anesthesia, how he did it without permission, how we were looked at 1s as individuals that did not have honor. And I think the grossest thing for me was learning that when they were doing gynecological exams on white women, they did not look at them because white women had honor when they did them on black women. 2s It was completely and totally different because we were not honorable. We were not considered as people. We were considered as property. And that has gone on for years and years. So I had to adopt the belief system that I hire my doctor so I can fire my doctor. So you are getting paid by me through a service that pay for. So when I'm telling you that there is an issue, that you need to listen to me. And so 1s I think when it comes to medical things, black women are very self conscious about being very strong willed in what they believe to be happening to their body because they get so talked out of being firm in their stance. 1s We are taught that black women exaggerate their symptoms and their pain levels and all of these things. And that is not very much. So not true. We just know who we are. We never want to go in and we don't want to cause a ruckus because we don't want to be known as an angry black woman. But what I know for a fact is being angry and black is what saves black women. Yes. So 

 U2 

 31:55 

 what advice would you give to a woman now who's pregnant, she's maybe experiencing some issues and she feels like she's not being 

 U1 

 32:05 

 hurt? 1s That's a very good question. So what I will say is 2s what we know is that when black women show up to the doctor with some concerns or just in labor, let's just say that they are in active labor. So the first thing is to navigate them to an induction. Babies come when they want to. So we know that they are going to navigate to a C section or going to be medically induced by utilizing pitocin and things of that nature. We know that that looks right about between 43 and 50%, that they will be navigated that route when they come unassisted. When a woman comes with a support person, their husband, their doula and so forth, that percentage goes down to about 13. 2s Wow. So what saves black women is having an additional set of eyes with her. So always undergird yourself with someone that's going to be an advocate for you when you cannot be an advocate for yourself to ask those questions. The second thing is sit down with your birth team. You have the right to call a meeting. Hey, so I have concerns about my of my care, how my care is, how I am being cared for in this space. These are my concerns. What can we do to ensure that I do not feel this way? If they do not have a good answer, go to somebody else. 1s Go to somebody else. 

 U2 

 33:43 

 That is really good advice. And you also mentioned that you are a doula. What does a doula do in the role of birthing? 

 U1 

 33:50 

 So that's a good question, because some people get confused by doulas, and midwives. Doulas are not midwives. Like, midwives are educated in anatomy and birthday. Most of them, specifically in the southern states, have to go through a nursing program. So there has to be an institutional curriculum, a testing that has to take place. So they are considered medical professionals. Midwives are. 2s When you look at a doula, a doula is not medically based. A doula is a support person. So what we're going to do is we're going to be your advocate. We're also going to are we educated about what childbirth is and what it looks like? Absolutely. But we are more so your coach through birth. Like, we are the person that's reminding you that you need to breathe. We're the person that's navigating through what your birth plan look like? What do you want this space to feel like? What are your comfort measures? Do you want to be touched? What position do you want to have your baby in? The natural body was not created to lay on your back and push your baby out. So we advocate for, hey, you want to do sit in the crown position? Do you want to squat? What are those things? And we ensure that that's what happens. So a doula is a support person and also a doula is everything that you need in that moment. I have had my hand down in tubs of water holding people up. I have jumped across queen size beds chasing women. And I'm like, girl, this baby is going to come out. I don't care how you run from it, it's coming. That's a little what we do with this. So a doula is we are everything. But the one thing that we are is. 3s The comfort that you look for that moment that you need somebody and you look to your left or your right and you wish that somebody was there. That is who a doula is. A doula is the person that you're looking for in your birth space. And we always show up. That is so good. You have been just amazing. You are just wisdom. Listen, you are so full of wisdom and you are, like the old people say, beyond your age. 

 U2 

 36:18 

 You are just so intelligent. And I am so thankful that you joined us here on Today. If you can leave the audience with anything, what would be your final words? 

 U1 

 36:29 

 Oh, that is very good. 2s I think that my final words would be there was a time 1s when 2s flying from one place to the next was unheard of. Right. We had to horse and buggy it. We had to walk. This creation was far beyond our reach. There was a time where the postal service wasn't quick that we can get things next day. Right. There was a time where women could not be doctors, where women had to pretend that they were men. 2s There was a time where a cell phone was mounted in your car and could not fit in your purse. Right. You know what I'm saying? There was a time for those things. 2s What I'm going to leave is you got to determine whether or not you stuck in the past or are you moving with the times. 2s You cannot stay on the Pony Express when you have access to a next day delivery. 1s You have to figure out and listen. That came to me because I just saw an airplane fly by. 1s I felt like that was God's word. Okay, so if you have access to a next day delivery, why are you stuck on the Pony Express? Because you're waiting for somebody to come through and give you a stamp of approval to do something that you are called to do. They will never show up for you because they have never been assigned to take on the tasks that you have. Stop looking for stamps of approval. Utilize the access that you have to get where you need to go, because what I know for sure is that somebody is standing there waiting for you to arrive, and you playing around back at the Pony Express, right? And they in position. So are you going to make them wait or are you going to show up and possibly save some lives? You have to be accountable for that. 

 U2 

 38:29 

 Listen, Ms. Wisdom has spoken. So how can people get in touch with you? Are you on social media? Do you have a 

 U1 

 38:37 

 website? 1s So you can definitely get in contact with me through the Zillexander.org website. I am always around. Listen, 1s my little sister said you're the only person that I'd be like, Google her and stuff really show up. You all google me. Like, listen, google me. Go to YouTube and put my name in, girl, you're going to find something, I'm telling you. I am impressed with myself. I am really impressed with myself. Shoot me a mail. Definitely. I respond to emails. There is not a time that somebody does not email me that I do not respond. I believe that when you are in a certain position, you have the obligation to collaborate and an obligation to help people navigate to their next spot. So there's never going to be a time that somebody reaches out to me that I do not respond, because that is my task in this life. That is the key that allows for me to get access to the next stage of where I'm going to be responsible for people. And that is what I pride myself on. So you can certainly reach out to me through that website. Definitely do a Google search. One of the emails will come up. You can email me at Xavierbell@gmail.com. That is always an email that's open Rz@zillexander.org. So definitely reach out to me. I'm all over the place. 

 U2 

 39:54 

 Well, guys, you heard it here. She is a phenomenal woman, full of wisdom, full of encouragement. So I would definitely have her information linked on my website brooksdimming.com. And I am just so ecstatic that you took time out of your day to sit and chat with me and my listening audience. In the words of Zay, there is lessons and positions. Make sure you dig deep, and if you are an eagle, do not take advice from chickens. 1s Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. I hope the information presented brings value to your life. Be sure to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube at brooksdemming. The sponsor of today's episode is clothed by J Christine, a Christian based clothing store offering quality and affordable clothing for the everyday, fashionable, conscious woman. To learn more about Xavier Bill, visit brooksdemming.com. Until next time, be resilient. 

 U1 

 40:57 

 Thanks for joining. Please rate this episode and share this podcast with your family and friends. To learn more about your host, visit www.brooksdemming.com